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Unread 01-05-2007, 01:21 PM   #1
thydroc
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Location: Atlanta, GA
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Hello - an introduction

Hello JB forumites, this is my first post, hence, an introductory one. A lot of forums have introductory rules, and I have been lurking here long enough to know the #1 rule here...

My name is Todd. If I have done things correctly, it should appear in my visible profile.

Other forums I have been on required an introductory joke, so here is one I thought I'd share..

"Help wanted ad in a newspaper reads, "Position open for equipment operator in tile recycling company. Operator must feed used floor tiles into tile mulching machine. Ground floor opportunity."

If that was funny, great. If not, I will buy the beers tonight.

Forum Rule #2..

I have not yet started my tiling project, but will make sure to keep all of my questions and progress reports in one post. My Felker TM75 is sitting at my front door right now, thanks the FedEx guy and the fine folks at Construction Complete. Now I can process my rebate. Got to love that price.

Rule #3..

Make fun of Texans at all possible times, so another joke...

"There is this Texan in hell.
The devil comes up to him on the first day, and sees him smiling and give the high five. "What are you so happy about?" says Lucifer.
"Man, I just love it here. Its like a spring day in Dallas."
The devil walks off pissed, and decides to get him. "I'll turn the heat all the way up. That'll show him."
The next day, the devil checks back with our hero, only to find him happy once again. "What now?" says the Evil one.
"Man is this heat great or what. Reminds me of a summer day in San Antonio."
The Devil realizes that he has been going about it all wrong. "Tomorrow I'm going to make it colder than an Alaskan winter." He returns the next day to find the Texan shivering and blue, but grinning from ear to ear. "What could you possibly have to be happy about?"
"Its pretty obvious, isn't it?" replied the Texan. "The Astros must have won the World Series."

I may have gotten rule #3 wrong, so 1 round of Lonestar for all the Texans.

I have been lurking for awhile and have learned a lot already. I intend to order a book or two by JB and soon a project will be started.
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Unread 01-05-2007, 01:47 PM   #2
EEEO
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Welcome Todd!

Here's a Texan joke for you:

A Texan farmer was on holiday in Australia, when he met up with an Australian farmer, who proudly showing off his wheat field.

"That's nothing", said the Texan, "Back home, we have wheat fields that are
twice the size of this."

The Australian showed him his cattle, but again the Texan scoffed and said "Why, back home, we have longhorns that are twice the size of your cows"!

Just then, some kangaroos bounded across the road.
"What are those?, exclaimed the Texan?
"Don't you have grass-hoppers back in Texas?" smirked the Australian.
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Unread 01-05-2007, 01:55 PM   #3
thydroc
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Good one Eric.
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Unread 01-05-2007, 02:17 PM   #4
CharlieM
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Welcome Todd,

No Lonestar for JB - only Corona. I think he gets pallet prices on that and Versabond
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Unread 01-05-2007, 02:30 PM   #5
Marge
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Todd, welcome to the forum!

And all Texan jokes are gladly accepted!
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Unread 01-05-2007, 05:29 PM   #6
Mike2
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Heidi Todd, hire yew?

Ain't never seed it myself but knewed an boy from Jawjuh once. Cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... thought he musta ben from some farn country.

You in Hot-lanta?

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Unread 01-05-2007, 05:50 PM   #7
John Bridge
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Oh great, another cracker.

Just kidding, Todd. Welcome aboard.
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Unread 01-06-2007, 05:29 PM   #8
thydroc
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Thanks for the welcome, everybody. I got my Felker aligned this afternoon and am looking forward to some destruction of tile.

Mike, yes I am in Hot-lanta. It had tobe 70* today. Not bad for January.
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Unread 01-06-2007, 05:44 PM   #9
Davy
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Welcome Todd, ten thousand comedians out of work and you're trying to be funny.
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Unread 01-06-2007, 05:46 PM   #10
Tool Guy - Kg
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Hi Todd, welcome.







And keep the Texan jokes coming.
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Unread 01-06-2007, 05:56 PM   #11
Hamilton
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Welcome Todd. Good to see you know all the rules that really apply
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