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Unread 03-23-2011, 09:05 PM   #136
sarge257
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Sarge gets shot in the back.

Still can't find "Sarges Stories" to post a new thread.



This story takes place when Sarge was a young man and living on a farm North of Sioux City, Iowa. We had about 200 acres and a third of that was wooded and pasture. Perfect for hunting and lazing around in the cool shade after the work day was over. And then Sarge's cousin shows up with a couple of buddies and wants to go hunting. Dad said to take them out to the pasture and find them a couple of squirrels. Young Sarge did what his Father told him to do but his heart was not in it. First of all his cousin was a bully. and outweighed young Sarge by about 80 lbs. most of it fat but still he was big and liked to pick on his younger relatives. Second he and his friends had those new semi-auto .22 RF rifles . The ones that you can shoot so fast that it sounds like a machine gun. And it was very unlikely his father (Sarges Uncle) knew enough about guns to teach him firearms safety. But Young Sarge lead the three "Big Game Hunters" out to the pasture.
There he explained to his "know it all" cousin the way to hunt squirrels in wood lots like this one. He sat them down on a log and told them to sit very still and not talk. Then he would go around the wood lot and scare the squirrels toward them. They could then pick them off in the tree tops. He took off up the hill to the cornfield. He walked carefully to make the least amount of noise in the dry noisy corn stalks. He was just half way up the hill when he heard his cousin yell,THERE'S ONE!!" And then it sounded like a hail storm around Young Sarge as the bullets shot at the tree top missed and went on to the hill that Young Sarge was walking on.
He looked ahead and saw a runoff ditch that was deap enough to get him below ground level and he ran and LEAPED! for its shelter. Just as he left the ground something hit him in the back. And then he was rolling into the ditch and below ground. Bullets continued to rain around him in spite of his yells..! STOP SHOOTING , PEOPLE UP HERE! Finally they ran out of ammunition and Young Sarge got to his feet and ran like he was being chased by a Grizzly Bear. He finally made to the farm house and told his Dad what had happened. Dad turned him around and found a bullet hole in his jeans in the back. He reached in the back pocket and pulled out Young Sarge's billfold.
"Bad news Son," he said " I think he is dead." Young Sarge grabbed for his back fully expecting to find blood running out and his life almost over, when his Dad turned him around and showed him a 1 dollar bill, with a bullet hole right through George Washington. "Where are they shooting from?" his dad asked. "That big log right where the cow path turns tward the creek." Young Sarge answered. .
His Dad started the tractor up and drove to the pasture coming up on the boys from the back. He told them to give him the guns and get back to the house. There he read my cousin the riot act and told him to get off of our farm and never come back. And he took the bolts out of the rifles and told all three of the boys to tell their Dads to drive out here and pick the bolts up. And he finished." You better tell your Dads what happened because I will.
The bullet was a hollow point and it blew up inside the billfold. Young Sarge had a big bruise on his back side but no hole or blood.
When the fathers of the boys came out to get the bolts they apologized to Dad and to me and told Dad that they were going to sell the guns when they got home.
My Uncle as angry at my Dad for letting them go hunting alone. The three boys were 17 years old. I had been hunting alone since I was 12yrs old. But it was obvious that they were never taught hunting safety. My Uncles attitude was probably some of my cousin's problem. He got everything he wanted except his Dad to be with him.
My cousin is living in Denver,CO. now and is a Stock Broker, so be careful who you trust your money with. His first name is Ray.
Sarge
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Unread 11-26-2011, 02:00 PM   #137
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LT. Linda ia mean to Sarge

First some background on this story..
Here in Colorado this spring we had some very bad weather. Everything from tornados to snow, to hail and high winds hit us in June. Our house roof and garage roof was damaged and Sarge worked 3 weeks repairing the house roof and by Sept. he was ready to start on the roof for the garage. A preliminary inspection showed more than just hail and wind damage and all the soffets were rotted and had to be replaced. On the North side of the garage was barely enough room between the garage and the neighbors fence for the ladder and it was a tight squeeze to the fence. On one of many trips up and down the ladder, Sarge managed to hit the steel fence post with his left elbow. One of those cracks that just had to hit the funny bone and it was not funny in any way. But after a few well chosen Army words Sarge continued on with his work. Now usually anything short of decapitation will heal for Sarge in a week or less.
This arm did not.
Three weeks later he commented to Lt. Linda that his arm and elbow still hurt from that hit on the fence post. She, a loving wife, immediately advised Sarge to make a Doctor appointment. But Sarge being male and stubborn said, " Naw it will heal up." Well three months has passed and Sarge is unable to use that arm. He could not lift anything with it or even open a jar lid with that hand and arm. He was begining to think the Lt. was right.
And then one cold night when the couple was snuggled up close in Sarges double size Army Cot, he noticed the Lt. was restless and tossing in her sleep. So being a loving husband he put his left arm (the bad one) over and patted her on her derriere. She reacted to that helpful carress by quickly rolling over toward Sarge and in the process trapped his left arm under her body. Sarge felt pain and then heard a "POP" and then really, really felt PAIN. Now Sarge is not one to scream or cry when he is hit with pain. But this was a Army words pain and he let out a YELP and dragged his arm out of under his wife. Moaning and groaning he turned over and tried to hold the arm in a neutral position to keep the pain level down. The next thing he knew he awoke 4 hours later and his arm did not hurt at all. He worked the joints and NO PAIN. As near as he can figure ou, he did not just hit the funny bone but knocked the elbow out of it's socket. When the good Lt. Linda rolled over on it, the POP was her weight (he has never been more happy that she is a little over weight) popped the elbow bone back into it's socket.
Now while this treatment worked with Sarge, he doesn't reccommend it for any other soldiers with limbs detached. Unless you happen to be sleeping with your lady doctor, maybe it would be all right. But it worked and the next morning Sarge put his arm (the bad one now working fine) around his lovely wife and told her what had happened during the night and if he had said something coarse to her in his moment of pain he apologized for it. She was very happy and said she had a list of things she has been wanting Sarge to do and she would get it for him right now.
Now isn't that mean?
Sarge the wounded warrior.
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Unread 11-26-2011, 02:13 PM   #138
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Sarge and Duke the Dog are attacked

Duke the Dog and Sarge had a real bad day a week ago. (Oct. 25) We were out for a walk and the sky turned dark so we cut our walk short and on the way home we stopped at a friends house just up the street from ours. I knocked at the door and his wife opened the door and in a flash a Pit Bull came charging out and took ahold of Duke by the throat. I grabbed at the dog and so did the lady, but we both could not pull him loose. I finally grabbed the Pit Bulls nose and tried to rip it off his face. That got his attention and he let lose of Duke and turned on me. He grabbed my right hand and started eating his way up it. When Duke was dropped he didn't run off with his tail between his legs, he attacked the Pit Bull from behind and made it let lose of my hand. As he whorled around to get Duke again the lady grabbed Duke and held him up. I told her to take my dog and put it in her car that was sitting in the drive way.The wife of the dog owner managed to get the Pit Bull into the house. I asked the lady to find the Rabies tags (he had none on) or some certification that he had his shots. And then I carried Duke home (he couldn't walk on one of is legs) I got Pvt. Trent and he drove Duke to the Pet Hospital. While the Doctor was working on Duke, Trent bandaged up me.
The total of it all, Duke had his right leg pulled out of the shoulder socket, his skin on his throat was torn loose, he had a cut on his leg about 5 inches long, and multiple puncture wounds on both front legs and one of his back legs. More puncture wounds on his head and shoulders. The Doc wasn't sure he would make it through the night as he was having trouble breathing and his wind pipe may have been crushed.. As Trent and I left to take me to the Emergency room we could hear poor Duke moaning in the other room.
Man that tears you up.
When we got to the Emergency room we must have got the newbies or just plain stupid. I asked them how long it would take for a human to show rabies sign and what can they do for me to prevent it. Duhhhh they didn't know. I took a deep breath and said as politely as possible. "I was bitten by a Pit Bull which is why I am bleeding all over your floor. And I want to know how long it takes for a human to show symptoms of the disease, because I want to make up a list of people that I am going to bite and you are on the top of the list if you don't do something fast! That got their attention and I had immediately two very cute nurses caring for me. But that was just to attract my attention, while one of them took a hypodermic needle and stuck it down into each and every puncture bite and then squrted some burning liquid in the hole until it washed out the dog saliva and germs. After that was over they Xrayed my hand and told me that I had no broken bones but most of the bites went clear through to the bone. Great I feel like a living dog bone now.
The good news is that Duke is healing well and he can walk now as the shoulder popped back into place by itself after 4 days. He still has to be carried around so he doesn't injure anything. Which means I carry him out in the morning so he can do his thing. I draw the line at helping him hold his leg up tho. Today he brought me one of his toys to play toss and retreave. He is a tough little guy and a fighter when it comes to his family. He sure doesn't like that medicine he has to take and I sympathize with him on that, I got my own meds to take. Yesterday I got my bandages off, Duke will be a couple more days for his bandages, He has some shunts inserted to drain out the infections and he wants to get at the cuts and lick them. So he is wearing one of those clown collars. Looks funny and he doesn't like at all.
Addenum: At this date Duke has completely healed up and is able to go for walks of a mile as he used to do. My hand has healed and that means I can be on KP again. Oh Boy.
Great, my hand healed up just in time for me to shovel 8 inches of snow.
See you all again,
Sarge and the Brave Duke the Dog.
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Unread 11-26-2011, 06:24 PM   #139
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thanks, Sarge. Been all too long sine we "Heard From You!"


(Best to Lt. Linda!)
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Last edited by Lazarus; 12-03-2011 at 01:35 PM.
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Unread 12-03-2011, 01:22 PM   #140
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Great tales Sarge, thanks for sharing your insights with us !

Keep them coming !
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Unread 12-22-2011, 05:08 PM   #141
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(Posted at Sarge's request....he just had another grandchild and is kinda busy...)

Sarge is Santa Claus For a day that is. Let me first give you some background on this Saga.
Back in 1997 Sarge voted in to be a commissioner on his city Historic commission. The commission's first project was a brick farm house built in 1901, that now resides inside the city limits and was donated to the city as a historic landmark and to be used as a living museum for the public. Now many years later the project is finished and open to the public. One of the most successful of the of the activities is the "Old Fashion Christmas, held every year on the first weekend of December. Sarge is always there anytime the house is open to the public usually taking the guests on tours of the fine old restored home and explaining how it was built and the use of each room. And what the period antiques that the house was funished with, were used for.
Then the day came when our Santa Claus called in sick. Sarge knew something was up when two of the commissioners and the Mayor of our city came in the door. They gave the bad news about Santa and said that unless we could get a substitute the house would have to be closed for the day. Then those three all looked at Sarge.
"Oh NO you don't, I am too skinny to be a Santa Claus, " complained Sarge. The thought of screaming kids, wet diapers and him having to smile all day long was not Sarge's idea of fun.
But the Mayor and the three commisioners (all very attractive ladies) surrounded Sarge and purred in his ears how good he would be and that he has kids and knows how to handle them and how terrible it would be if the house had to shut down just before Christmas. And the next thing Sarge knew the three ladies were helping him with the beard, the hat, the wig and strapping the pillow around his midsection, two of them were standing on their tip toes and putting the big white fur trimed coat on him. And Sarge sat on Santa's chair and said ho-ho-ho.
"Well heck, here goes nothing," thought Sarge. And soon footsteps were heard racing up the stairs and into Santa's workshop burst a little boy and girl. Excited cries of SANTA! SANTA! bucked up Sarges confidence and he let out a BIG HO HO HO HO... And next thing he knew the two muppets were sitting on his knees and telling him what they wanted for Christmas. The cameras of the two parents were flashing and the line of kids began to form in the hall. But not all kids are so happy to see Santa and some little ones were terrified and held on to their parents legs, peeking out at the big guy. After coaching by the parents didn't help, Sarge has an idea. He got off the big 'Throne like' chair and sat cross legged on the floor. (Indian style) and pulled out of his bag some toy trucks that he gave out as gifts to the many kids that visited him. He drove the little truck around on the floor making truck noises and soon the little boy was right there and Santa Sarge drove the little truck up his arm and parked it on his shoulder accompanied by a burst of giggles and laughter by the boy and his sister. Then Sarge Santa asked the boy to whisper into Santa's ear what he wanted for Christmas. And that Santa would keep it a secret. (note, due to explosions and cannons in the Army Sarge has lost most of his hearing so hearing little kids voices is darn near imposible) But the little guy whispered in Santa's ear and Sarge turned to the Dad and said "Your son wants a Ford Convertible" The Dad cracked up laughing. Then Sarge Santa turned back to the boy as if he was listening to something else the tyke was whispering. "And Dad, he says it is OK if you drive it until he is old enough to get his driving license." The crowd roared and the little girl took her turn and whispered in Santa's ear. After she finished the mother stated "I hope she doesn't want a car too." "No said Santa, she wants a pony." More laughter filled the room.Then Mom and Dad ran to get in the picture,, one on each side of Santa and the two kids. The cameras flashed and all wore big happy smiles. As the Dad left with the two kids the Mom whispered in Santa Sarge's ear, ":That was the most wonderful thing you did. Both our kids are adoped and have been abused. This is the first time we have seen them happy and laughing since we got them"
So the day was long and the kids cried and one baby wet on Sarge Santa's pantleg, but the day went so fast that Sarge Santa was sorry when it finally ended. He was having fun. And he smiled all day.,
Sarge
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Unread 07-31-2018, 01:52 PM   #142
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Just to update you all. My good friend, "Sarge" passed away not too long ago.

I'll miss him and his stories. As with many here, they are "internet friends" and while I might have never met them personally, I still feel close to them and cherish their memory. Hope you enjoyed his stories.......
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Unread 07-31-2018, 09:57 PM   #143
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Sorry to hear, Laz.
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Unread 08-01-2018, 03:19 PM   #144
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Sorry to hear about your friend Laz, I never knew this thread existed and started reading his stories. Thank you for posting them here.
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Unread 12-03-2020, 05:42 PM   #145
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2020 Worst Year Ever, Provided You Never Lived at Any Other Time in History.....

2020 Worst Year Ever, Provided You Never Lived at Any Other Time in History.....
(Courtesy BABYLON bEE)

2020 Rated Worst Year Ever, Provided You Never Lived At Any Other Time In History
December 2nd, 2020

(courtesy Babylon Bee)


U.S.—Across the country, there is general consensus that 2020 has been the "worst year ever." According to studies, 82% of Americans agree that 2020 has been a terrible year of unprecedented suffering and misery. Experts confirmed that 2020 was indeed the worst year, provided you have never lived in virtually any other time period in all of human history.

"We noticed that most of the respondents who called 2020 the worst year also enjoyed delicious food being delivered to them for 8 months while they sat on their couches with the air conditioning on and binge-watched shows the whole time," said one researcher.
"While we understand it hasn't been easy, we also found very few instances of Viking raids, Black Plague, famine, world war, using rotary telephones, needing to look things up in a physical dictionary, slavery, people being burned at the stake, walking miles to school, living in caves, sleeping on the ground, ice ages, Nazi holocausts, civil war, infant mortality, global floods, ethnic cleansing, using leaves as toilet paper, using leeches as medicine, using wooden mallets as an anesthetic, fighting wild saber-tooth tigers, cannibalism, occupation by the Persian Empire... what was I talking about again? Oh yeah-- most people in 2020 never experienced any of those things, so comparatively speaking it's been a pretty decent year!"
"Worst. Year. Ever." Tweeted one local man who has been making more money than most Zambians make in a lifetime -- all from the comfort of his computer.
"Can 2020 be over yet??" Tweeted a New York fashion executive whose preferred candidate just won the presidential election.
"I just can't anymore. Ugh!" exclaimed another after Uber got his dinner order wrong.
The only exception was one oddball who walked out of his front door and took a deep breath of the morning air. "Thank you, God, for this amazing air!" he said. The oddball has been detained for further scientific study to figure out what the heck is wrong with him.....
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Unread 12-04-2020, 01:28 PM   #146
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What Can You No Longer Afford Since Your Retirement?

What can you no longer afford since your retirement?
Here are a few things I can no longer afford in “retirement.”

I can no longer afford to be deluded by marketeers and other shysters into buying things I don’t need or pursuing lifestyles I can’t afford.
I can no longer afford to trade in the best years of my life for someone else’s bottom line.
I can no longer afford to adopt a false persona of who I am to satisfy others’ expectations.
I can no longer afford to be addicted to unnecessary consumerism and habituation to debt.
I can no longer afford to be absent, both physically and psychologically, for my friends, family and other people in my life.
I can no longer afford to trade my health through adopting an unhealthy lifestyle for the temporary relief to stress and worry.
I can no longer afford to enable others at exorbitant cost to provide skills for things I can and could have always done myself.
I can no longer afford to be confused about the value of material things versus the value of living and loving.
I can no longer afford to listen to, much less believe in, societal norms on what people my age should be like.
I can no longer afford to not laugh and be silly.
So there you have it!
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Unread 12-04-2020, 04:48 PM   #147
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What are some most important unspoken rules in life?
Only stay with someone as long as you are invested in the relationship and can see it grow.
Do not date, sleep with, or kiss your friends partner.
If you break up, have the courage to do so face-to-face.
You are not at liberty to force anyone to change.
Nothing is free. That includes the things you want in the future.
If the world around you feels like its on fire then staying and doing nothing won't put it out.
Some people are simply doing their job.
Some bonds you create are thicker than blood.
Life is a collection of choices you have made. It is therefore your responsibility as much as it is your doing.
Success comes from standing up one more time, not beating out one more person.
It is okay to have different points of view.
If you can hold the door open for the person behind you without them having to run, do it.
Always allow one car to merge.
You cannot have everything you want, but you can have anything.
Experiences are worth more than money.
There are no guarantees in anything in life; learn to adapt.
People feel what they feel. No, you do not know better.
Life is not fair, but you often work for.
There are no ordinary moments.
Nothing happens without a reason, some reasons are just not that good.
You cannot fight every battle. Choose wisely.
Some fights are not worth fighting.
Sometimes it takes more courage to walk away. Other times it takes more courage to stay.
Everybody has their own bubble they live in. Make sure yours does not blind you to the rest of the world.
Always leave one urinal/toilet stall between you and the other person if you can.
You are too old not to start working for your dreams.
At the end of it all, the only one you have to justify your choices to is you. Make good choices now and choices you stand behind so you do not live to regret them.
Sometimes it’s better to put yourself first. Remember you can serve the world best when you are at your best.
Sometimes people need to be told the hard truth. Don’t take away someone’s opportunity to learn from the consequences of their actions.
Whether or not you commit your goals to someone should not matter, because you will do it if you are certain about it regardless of who knows.
You do not need the world’s approval to live your life the way you want to.
Regardless of who you are with, always have your own life to live. Your partner is not responsible for your happiness. And, in the opposite manner, neither are you responsible for theirs.
Others will not understand things the same way you do. Don’t assume they are on the same page. Explain it one more time.
In most of life, there are no absolutes. It’s almost always a mix of things.
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Unread 12-04-2020, 09:48 PM   #148
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Laz, looks like you're back to your long copy-and-paste threads so I've combined the recent ones here on the thread we made for you here years ago. We can give it an updated title if you like.
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Y'ALL NEW VISITORS READ THIS HERE!

Last edited by cx; 12-04-2020 at 09:56 PM.
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Unread 12-05-2020, 09:53 AM   #149
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Thanks. In memory of Sarge, just leave it the way it is.....and, for his proper memory, his name was Leonard Avery.....
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Last edited by Lazarus; 12-05-2020 at 10:15 PM.
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Unread 05-03-2022, 04:12 PM   #150
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Just started thinking about Leonard Avery (Sarge) again. A really great writer and gunfighter. I really miss his tales and he was a great friend. Please enjoy some of his writings....
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