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Unread 10-18-2007, 11:49 AM   #1
kate42
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Handling Disappointment



I am going to vent a bit.
Recently I made a request to participate in a business group and my request was denied. Besides being terribly disappointed, I am also very hurt by this decision and very angry. I feel the basis of this action was a belief by them (the ones who make the decisions) that I am not very intelligent because it is apparently felt that I do not know the difference between a business and a social club.
It’s not a good feeling to realize that there are those who do not respect my intelligence and they see me as being rather shallow. This is how they think of me, a woman who has owned her own business and was a working partner with her husband in another business.
Of course, I wonder what I did to present this unflattering picture of myself. It’s something I am going to examine very closely. I want to prevent this from ever happening again.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I remain.
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If there is order in the nation,
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Unread 10-18-2007, 11:57 AM   #2
ChrisIL
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Hi Kathleen,

I've always found that the initial sting of rejection eventually leads to a better self image since after assessing someone else's opinion of me (job interviews have been my normal form of rejection), I usually come to the conclusion that I still like myself just the way I am and am better off for the lack of association.

(this run-on sentence brought to you by the "I think Kate is Great Society".)
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Unread 10-18-2007, 11:58 AM   #3
ddmoit
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Hey Kathleen, chin up!

Some people internalize everything (I wasn't accepted because of something I did), and some people externalize things (those jerks don't know a good member when they see one). The truth is usually somewhere in between.

Is it more important to be intelligent, or to be perceived as intelligent? If being intelligent is important to your self-esteem, and you know that you are intelligent, then screw those folks. They don't deserve to have any influence on how you feel. You don't need 'em.
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Unread 10-18-2007, 01:50 PM   #4
jjwq8
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Kate
Those who give you pause that they believe you are something less than you are, are invariably judging you by their own very sad standards.

Bollocks to the lot of 'em
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Unread 10-18-2007, 08:23 PM   #5
kate42
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Thank you all for the wonderful words of encouragement. I will take all of yours words to heart and move in the right direction. I really appreciate it.
Love
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"If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world."
~Chinese Proverb
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Unread 10-18-2007, 08:48 PM   #6
Shooter
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How to handle dissappoinment? Well let me poke fun at some of our membership on your behalf......Just ask the Ron Paul fans after the elections. They might have some advice to offer.

On a serious note, others have given good advice, so I will just say, keep your chin up and as I teach my kids "never give up and never surrender". Keep on, Keeping on!
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Unread 10-18-2007, 10:55 PM   #7
river-wear
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Hi Kate, I'm sorry to hear about this poor decision on their part.
Keep your chin up, but I'll get on to the serious part...

You said you "believe" you know the reason they turned you down. Depending on the circumstances, (that is, if you're able) ask THEM the reason. It might be something else entirely and might not even be a reflection on you. Or it could be something you could decide to work on to improve yourself or your image.

Just don't let anyone else's ideas of who you are get to you. Just remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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Unread 10-19-2007, 07:10 AM   #8
opiethetileman
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kate I know the feeling i got turned down to be a on the neighborhood board. they said I was too RAW. I tell it like it is. why beat around the tree just go to the root. some people but its funny how stuff breaks and they all ask me if i can help them out or if I have a freind who can hook em up. BUt i take it with a grain of salt was always left out in school as well. just made me stronger and more crazy. hold your chin up or ill stop by and go trick or treating on halloween in my bog of thinset costume.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 05:38 PM   #9
Davestone
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Darn it Kate! You mean the homeowners assoc. wouldn't let you hang ornaments on your mailbox again? Who cares,sometimes ya gotta figure there is a reason other than you,who knows what they may be thinkin.I got turned down for a loan once and stayed awake for days trying to figure it out,turns out the bank was goin under,but they made it sound like I was a bad risk.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 06:29 PM   #10
flatfloor
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Actually Dave you were close but she wanted to hang a Postman from the chimney but the Postal Inspectors made her give him back.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 06:36 PM   #11
opiethetileman
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maybe her twin sister is the one who ran into a comcast station with a hammer and went nuts.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 06:38 PM   #12
Davestone
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So that's why my bil..err mail was late. Huh, a woman with a hammer in a Comcast office,i thought you were gonna come up with something outragous for a minute.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 06:40 PM   #13
opiethetileman
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im dead seriours it was on the news today she got fed up with them went in and smashed a montior and meyboard shes was like 70 plus years old.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 06:52 PM   #14
Davestone
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Holy crap, you mean she smashed a montior,and a meyboard,you can't be seriours.
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