Your planned 1 1/2 to 2 inches for the final deck mud is fine, Scott. It will be the same thicknes everywhere if you are installing it over a properly built pre-slope, which sounds like the case. The 1 1/2 is about optimal.
For your curb, just make it as high as you want it. If it's already built, just add mud to the top when you get to that point. It's common to install tiles to the front and back sides of the curb, then fill to the top of the tiles (ensuring a little slope to the shower side) and then tile the top. Makes it look like you planned it that way - which, of course, is now the case.
You shouldn't need any backer rod at your floor/wall junction. You will have set your CBU bottoms a little (1/4 to 1/2 inch) above the pre-slope and your deck mud will run right up against it. Only the tile will have a small gap for you to caulk.
My opinion; worth price charged.