Welcome back, Tony.
1. Can if you wanna, but the industry standard requirement is for a double layer of plywood, regardless the joist spacing. Each layer properly, and differently installed.
2. Have you read the installation instructions for each to determine whether the manufacturer recommends the product for your installation?
3. Depends upon what you're applying. See #2.
4. The manufacturer of the CBU knows nothing about your plan to use a patching compound. You would follow all the directions for one before using the other. If the CBU manufacturer requires that you fill and tape the joints, you'd fill and tape the joints.
5. If you flatten your floor sufficiently, and if your tiles are sufficiently flat, you should have no difficulty achieving a flat tile installation. For tiles the size you have the requirement for the floor is no deviation from intended plane of more than 1/8" in ten feet nor 1/16th" in two feet. That's a very flat floor and you'll be very glad to have it when you start setting those big tiles.
The industry requirement is for 3/32nds" of mortar under the tile when set. The maximum depends upon the mortar manufacturer.
My opinion; worth price charged.