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Unread 08-15-2013, 04:04 PM   #4801
Tool Guy - Kg
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Unread 08-15-2013, 04:35 PM   #4802
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POW! Right in the kisser!
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Unread 08-23-2013, 10:23 AM   #4803
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A young Naval Officer

A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but
due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent
injury was the loss of one ear.

Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the
military and eventually became anAdmiral. However, during
his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs
and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a
great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral
asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"

The Master Chief answered, "Why yes. I couldn't help but
notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know
whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw
him out of his office.

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked
this same question, answered, "Well yes, you seem to be
short one ear."

The Admiral threw him out also.

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He
was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more
than the twoMaster Chiefsput together. The Admiral wanted
this guy, but went ahead with the same question.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes. You wear
contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an
incredibly tactful Marine. "And how do you know that?" the
Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to
wear glasses with only one damn ear."
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Unread 08-23-2013, 01:42 PM   #4804
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The Food Stamp Program

The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever, to 46 million people.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us "Please Do Not Feed the Animals." Their stated reason for the policy is because the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.
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Unread 08-23-2013, 02:02 PM   #4805
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Mmmm, Henry? This is s'posta be a joke thread.
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Unread 08-23-2013, 04:06 PM   #4806
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Well, I thought it was funny.....
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Unread 12-01-2013, 08:00 PM   #4807
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A swimmin' story

An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "we're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast.
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Unread 12-01-2013, 08:08 PM   #4808
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Ah, yes. Likely the same ol' gator in posts 1998, 3080, 3585, 4086, and 4138 I'd be willing to wager.
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Unread 12-01-2013, 08:16 PM   #4809
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Well, I didn't say it was original.

You really keep track of that?

Heck, I may have seen that one before too, but my memory is, well, you know...
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Unread 12-01-2013, 08:19 PM   #4810
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My memory is way worse than "well, you know," but If I type alligator into the Search This Thread box, it's pretty easy to sort out a bunch of dupes.
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Unread 12-01-2013, 10:24 PM   #4811
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But post 4138 was from August years ago. I am betting most folks don't remember many past August 2012.

Wait...remember what????
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Unread 12-02-2013, 12:08 AM   #4812
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cx
...type alligator into the Search This Thread box, it's pretty easy to sort out...
Now we have to search the mudbox before posting a joke?

When did things get so tough?

-------------

random thought that occurred while I was posting this: You know the guy that tells you the same stories and jokes over and over? Wouldn't it be nice to tell that person to search his recent history for the last time he told that story?

If only internet etiquette applied to real life...
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Unread 12-02-2013, 07:59 AM   #4813
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Nope, not a requirement at all, Jim, Just pointing out that some of us mighta seen that one before, eh?
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Unread 12-02-2013, 08:13 AM   #4814
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CX, this all brings up an interesting point regarding forums.

On a really long thread, like this one, it's just pretty darned hard to read through every page without making a conscious, diligent effort. All the posts you found in the search were put up before I subscribed to the thread, or even got active on the forum.

I've seen repeats, here and on other forums, of long threads before (I think our own youtube thread probably has one or two), but I guess I figure that there are new people on the forum from time to time, and most of 'em aren't going to go back to the 1st page and get current on any really, really long thread, like this one that's 12 years old and 321 pages long.

But you made a good point about using the search. I might have even thought to do that before I posted this one if it had involved golf.
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Unread 12-02-2013, 08:18 AM   #4815
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Posts about golf should be banned from all Internet sites. I don't see your point there.
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