Sam Houston Institute of Technology

[flatfloor]

You writing this stuff yourself? If so we are going back to making a TV pilot.

[IBJT]

Isn't there some way to post stuff without putting yer name on it.


Oh well. I just couldn't keep this one to myself.

[Edited by IBJT on 09-17-2002 at 06:01 PM]

[Cami A]

Hmmmm...Maybe it should be Sam Houston Institute of Tile....

I have a nomination for Teacher of the Year for the SWP 101-104...

[flatfloor]

OK Cami, what ARE you talking about?

[Cami A]

Sheeeesh...that's in one of the owl threads, or maybe this one...Gotta pay attention!

Sadistic Wildlife Practices= SWP, one of the many fine classes offered at Sam Houston IT.

What's that you say? You can't read my mind when I changed the setting of the TV pilot to a college? Think of it as Saved by the Bell- if that inane comedy can survive for so long, we should be able to last a season.

[flatfloor]

I swear we could do better. The trick is to get the 19 year olds that run the networks to buy it. I suppose we could have a running joke about farting and a teenager with her navel protruding while being leered at by John's loutish helper.

[Cami A]

Of course, there's 300+ posts on a simple slogan...how long do you think it would take for us to come up with a pilot?

[flatfloor]

Hell we have the outline done already, just have to get a new agent. Plus we have lotsa new talent.

[John Bridge]

Hey, you guys talkin' about a spin-off? Shouldn't we sell a pilot on the original before we do that?

As I recall, we were off in the tundra of Northern Canada doing something or other. Can't remember the plot exactly. Weren't we all sitting around planning to found a university or something?

I really do like that little guy peeing on the floor.

[flatfloor]

Check back next week, that's a masticked floor.

[bbcamp]

The Stankhammer Triplets were the foundation for a series of "newspaper" articles I wrote to "document" the various activities involving the folks I work with. No incident was too small to escape the Stankhammer Chronicles' attention; often a casual BS session would lead to an entire issue, or a picture taken of some work going on would be "re-interpreted." Members of our project became regulars in the pages of the Chronicles. Although their names were changed to protect their identity (ha!), people recognized themselves in the articles and enjoyed being part of the fun.

Over the 2 years the Chronicles were published, the Stankhammers repaired Skylab and the Hubble Telescope, captured the world's largest octopus and bird, appeared in parades and football games, and discovered "second-hand radiation." Because management of our project was shifted from one company to another, the boys also managed a project with identical acronyms, leading to a little "skewering" of the various companies and managers involved.

The hardest part of doing something like this is remembering the history as it is being written and developing the characters. It's hard work, but somebody's got to do it!

[John Bridge]

"Second hand radiation"

Man, that's a startling concept. Wonder if it's being covered on the environmental front? I mean, are there studies in progress?

[bbcamp]

Here is the "Secondhand Radiation" article much as it appeared in the Stankhammer Chronicles, June 3, 1999:

WORLD'S OLDEST LIVING SIAMESE TRIPLETS DISCOVER NEW FORM OF RADIATION

PANIC IN STREETS AVERTED!



Rare, unpublished picture showing secondhand radiation is its early, less lethal stages. Ignore the Greek-looking letter things, as the scientists don't know what they are, either. (Image courtesy of ORNL Inst.)


OAK RIDGE -The World's Oldest Living Siamese Triplets announced the discovery on a new, and potentially weird, form of radiation today during a invitation-only press conference. Lefty Stankhammer, spokesman and lead investigator for the triplets explained, "We have been aware of the basic forms of radiation for years. Mostly, radiation is our friend, but lately, we've begun to notice changes in Homer which have caused us to look closer at the subject." Homer's "changes" included certain physical mutations, emotional discharges, and an offensive odor with no apparent source. "We noticed that these changes occurred whenever we were around high radiation areas at work and home, but nothing ever happened to Jethro or me."

Authorities brought in noted probability expert Dr. Vlave Van Der Grippe, from the Oak Ridge Natural Luck Institute, to discuss the physics involved. "Everybody knows about alpha, beta, and gamma radiation and how gamma radiation passes through objects, including human bodies. What we didn't know until now was that gamma radiation mutates when passing through the human body. This mutation changes gamma radiation into what we call Samford'n'sonian radiation, or secondhand radiation as it is more commonly called."

"Radiation is everywhere, especially where you are. Secondhand radiation is simply gamma radiation which has been contaminated with particles picked up from the human bodies it passes through. These contaminates include: oxidants, free-radicals, cholesterol, plaque, cellulite, dandruff, and the heartbreak of psoriasis. Lice, mites, and cooties, however, are not included." (Editor's note: so-called "free" radicals have been proven not to be entirely free, but, rather, highly discounted imported radicals of questionable quality. If someone offers you some "free" radicals, notify the police immediately, as there is some scam afoot.)

"There seems to be nothing we can do to prevent secondhand radiation, with the possible exception of not standing so close to each other," said Dr. Van Der Grippe, as he inched away from Homer.


The Stankhammer triplets, Lefty, on right, Homer, center, and Jethro, Jr., the other one, show some of the effects of secondhand radiation during rehearsal of their world famous "6-Step Shuffle" at their parents Oliver Springs home (Photo taken from Erma Stankhammer)

[flatfloor]

Do you think the Stankhammer Triplets would participate in a chat room discussion of 2nd hand radiation if John Invited them? Possibly offer a door prize, maybe a wet ocilliscope.

[Cami A]

That's assuming that the triplets are certifiable...

Prolly a safe assumption, eh?