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Old 09-19-2003, 05:06 PM   #811
turracemsar
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barristers or solicitors depending on whether they are paper pushers or actually know what a courtroom looks like.
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Old 09-19-2003, 06:51 PM   #812
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Can't repeat what they call them over there.

Hi Nick
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Old 09-19-2003, 09:24 PM   #813
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Thought of the group when I saw this one!
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Old 09-19-2003, 09:25 PM   #814
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ALSO thought of the group when I saw this one!

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Old 09-19-2003, 11:59 PM   #815
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John, Ive got an entire album filled with Lawyer Jokes.If i didnt like him ,i would have poted em all 1 at a time 5 times a day lol
Nick understands i'm a Lawyers brother.That makes me a special case or maybe just a total case!! Sign ze papers Nick
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Old 09-20-2003, 04:19 AM   #816
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A solicitor is a barrister without her briefs.
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Old 09-20-2003, 09:03 AM   #817
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What is it, the lawyers turn, now? ...
OK then, here's one for ya!

The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.

After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."


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Old 09-20-2003, 09:06 AM   #818
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Old 09-20-2003, 09:17 AM   #819
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Hey, come on now. These jokes are really unfair. It's a mere 95% of lawyers that give the rest a bad name.
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Old 09-20-2003, 09:21 AM   #820
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Nahh it's the 4.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 % of the balance serving time in the big house
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Old 09-20-2003, 10:10 AM   #821
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If Builders Built Buildings Like Lawyers write Laws,The first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization

Four doctors who hadn’t seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they turned their conversation to who makes the best surgical patients:
The first said, for sure, electrical engineers. “You open ‘em up,” he contended, “and everything is color-coded.”

“Nah,” said the second. “It’s librarians. You open ‘em up and everything is alphabetized.”

The third scoffed. “Of course not,” he said. “It’s accountants. You open ‘em up and everything is numbered.”

“Lawyers,” said the fourth, with a shake of his head. “It’s lawyers, you idiots! No heart, no guts, no spine, and the butt and the brain are interchangeable.”

OK thats enough ,poor nicks gonna start to get a feeling we dont like him and that just aint true.regardless of what people think of lawyers,we need them around until they quit writing laws in a dead language.Latin , the language used to confuse the general populace.
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Old 09-20-2003, 10:23 AM   #822
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Engineers and Lawyers
There was once an engineer who found a magic lamp. When he rubbed it, a genie jumped out and said to him, "You have three wishes. But there is a catch - this wish system of mine was designed by a lawyer, so whatever you wish for every lawyer in the world will get double of!"

The engineer replied, "That's no problem, I can live with that." He then said, "For my first wish, I wish I had a Ferarri."

"OK", said the genie, and a Ferarri appeared in front of the engineer. "But remember, every lawyer in the world now has 2 Ferarris," the genie told the engineer.

The engineer remained unperturbed and said, "For my second wish, I wish for a million bucks." So a million bucks appeared in front of the engineer and the genie said, "remember, every lawyer in the world now has 2 million bucks."

The engineer was non-committal and then said, "I always wished I could donate a kidney!"

Now Nick, that was actually an Engineers Joke
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Old 09-20-2003, 11:03 AM   #823
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Nick, I'm in need of your services. Seems Linda has chosen to post a photo of me on the internet without my permission and without prior notification.

Todd, any idea who the artist is?
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Old 09-20-2003, 11:18 AM   #824
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No i dont Sonny.Cool stuff though isnt it.
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Old 09-20-2003, 12:19 PM   #825
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Todd:
You're on a roll, buddy!! It's a good thing that we're not into Italian jokes!! I'd be dead by now!!

Sonny:
Maybe we can join forces ... You remember when somebody hinted at the idea that you and I look alike? ...

Linda:
You're in deep trouble, girl!!

Ciao,
Maurizio
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