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Old 09-09-2003, 10:47 PM   #781
Sonnie Layne
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where the heck's the engine on that train???
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Old 09-09-2003, 11:09 PM   #782
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Why Jennifer Aniston Shouldn't work without a script

This is a quote taken from "Hello" magazine week ending 3 September 2003. Read it in the dentists waiting room. Fell off chair. Can I sue for increased dental work?

Miss Aniston quoted on "the fame thing":

"When someone follows you 20 blocks to the pharnacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know that life has changed. You lose all privacy and that's a thorn that comes with this beautiful rosy life. You have to get used to getting a prick now and then."
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Old 09-10-2003, 06:21 AM   #783
Maurizio Bertoli
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Jeremy:



Todd:
d'ya notice? If you REALLY want to impress you gotta use the image of an exotic Italian, not certainly a Corvette!!

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Old 09-10-2003, 04:36 PM   #784
flatfloor
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And that's just the helpers punch list vehicle.
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Old 09-11-2003, 02:56 PM   #785
tileguytodd
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ADVICE FROM BOB
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them
to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men
notice this, they should try not to criticize.
Let me relate how I handle the situation. When I got laid off from my consulting job and took
"early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started
working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an
hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to complain, instead I tell her to take her
time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit
on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times
each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this advice, as it
does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer
are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps.
I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry by the next evening I
am willing to overlook it. Not only that but unless I need something ironed to wear to the
Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or
Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do
the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like
shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have a really good day of fishing, this
allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult
for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch break. In spite of her
complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two
or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a
break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.

I try to be supportive when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix
herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her
that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her
break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep. I know that I probably look
like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show
this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible.
No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I
will consider that writing it was worthwhile.

Signed,

Bob

NOTE: Bob's funeral was on Saturday, January 25th.
Nancy was acquitted on Monday, January 27th.

--
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Old 09-11-2003, 06:01 PM   #786
flatfloor
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Throw another log on the fire and tell me why your leaving me.

Gotta remember that the next time Kathleen seems to slack off.

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Old 09-11-2003, 07:26 PM   #787
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Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it since
the beginning of married life, when my mom told me it was the best.
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white
blouse. My husband started to berate me about my drinking problem.
One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my
white blouse as well. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent,
but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip out, I stopped and got a
bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and all of the stains came out!!

They came out so well, in fact, that the DNA tests were negative!!


I thank you once again for a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty Bag people.
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Old 09-11-2003, 08:07 PM   #788
fishinfarmgirl
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TODD AND JIM!

Can't seem to locate a smilie for a punch in the arm for the two of you! One a these days...I'll get ya!

Jim...I;'m gonna hafta rethink Fed Exing that Chocolate Grand Marnier cheesecake after that one!

L
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Old 09-11-2003, 08:41 PM   #789
flatfloor
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It's ok Linda, Kathleen saw it. I hafta wear starched underwear for a week.

Besides we were really poking fun at men. (I think)
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Old 09-11-2003, 10:07 PM   #790
fishinfarmgirl
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Quote:
Besides we were really poking fun at men.
Oh sure...you'll say ANYTHING for a Chocolate Cheesecake!
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Old 09-12-2003, 05:47 AM   #791
tileguytodd
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Some things are just better left alone,i think this is one of themOf course for a piece of that thar cheesecake i might be convinced to talk!!
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Old 09-12-2003, 08:43 PM   #792
Bryan Klakamp
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There was this little boy whose mother always made his lunch for him to take to school. But one day, his mother had to leave the house early, and had forgotten to make his lunch. So, frantically, the little boy looked in the refrigerator for something to take with him. The only thing he could see to take was a big pickle. So he grabbed one out of the jar, wrapped it with a paper towel, and put it in his pocket.

The class was studying world geography that day, and the teacher called on little Johnny to name the continents of the earth. So he answered: "North America, South America, Antarctica, Australia, Africa, Asia, . . ." He couldn't think of what the other one was.

After a while, the little girl behind him whispered: "European, European."

Johnny turned around and said to her:













"No, I'm not! That's pickle juice running down my leg!!!"
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Old 09-12-2003, 11:18 PM   #793
fishinfarmgirl
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Todd~
I ain't really as put out as I sound! Just have to give you guys a hard time!

Bryan~ Cute one!
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Old 09-13-2003, 12:50 AM   #794
Maurizio Bertoli
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This one is in behalf of blondes, for a change!

A blonde and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the blonde says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"

"This must be a sign from God!" The blonde continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the blonde.

The blonde takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The blonde replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

Ciao and good luck,
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Old 09-13-2003, 02:46 PM   #795
fishinfarmgirl
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LOL

That's a good one Maurizio! Very good! Gotta remember that ploy!

L
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