Ceramic Tile Advice Forums - John Bridge Ceramic Tile

Welcome to John Bridge / Tile Your World, the friendliest DIY Forum on the Internet


Advertiser Directory
JohnBridge.com Home
Buy John Bridge's Books

Go Back   Ceramic Tile Advice Forums - John Bridge Ceramic Tile > Tile & Stone Forums > The Mud Box

Sponsors


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-19-2003, 06:54 PM   #391
tileguytodd
Official Felker Fanatic
 
tileguytodd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Northern MN
Posts: 14,398
good one Jim,Niki about peed herself
__________________
TIP YOUR TILE MAN, His Retirement plan is not nearly as lucrative as yours and his waning years will be far more painful to boot.
He gives much so you can have a Beautiful Home!!
tileguytodd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2003, 08:01 AM   #392
flatfloor
"da Leveler"
 
flatfloor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,280
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE LITTLE KIDS HAVE LEARNED

When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food

Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
__________________
Jim Buckley

This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.



Tile Calculator
New Here? Read this!
flatfloor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2003, 08:16 AM   #393
flatfloor
"da Leveler"
 
flatfloor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,280
STORY WITH A MORAL

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it would not break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."
__________________
Jim Buckley

This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.



Tile Calculator
New Here? Read this!
flatfloor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2003, 04:33 PM   #394
tileguytodd
Official Felker Fanatic
 
tileguytodd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Northern MN
Posts: 14,398
__________________
TIP YOUR TILE MAN, His Retirement plan is not nearly as lucrative as yours and his waning years will be far more painful to boot.
He gives much so you can have a Beautiful Home!!
tileguytodd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2003, 09:05 PM   #395
Sonnie Layne
Da Poet
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dallas, TX, USA
Posts: 5,171
damned, should have seen that one coming....

that Johnnie's a bad kid in several languages.
__________________
da' poet
Sonnie Layne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2003, 07:06 AM   #396
rj
da Versa-tile Guy -- Official Keeper of the JB Forums Album
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Orange County N.Y,
Posts: 519
US Central Intelligence has discovered SOME NEW TOWNS IN IRAQ...
1. Wherz-Myroof
2. Mykamel-Izded
3. Osheet-Disisabad
4. Waddi-El-Izgowinon
5. Pleez-Ztopdisheet
6. Kizz-Yerazz-Goodbi
7. Ikantstan-Disnomore
8. Wha-Tafuk-Wazi-Tinkin
9. Myturbin-Izburnin

Also, there is rumor that there will be a new golf course in Iraq.
270,000 holes and no waiting!!
__________________
If you have the proper tools and mindset......anything is possible !
.........
rj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2003, 07:09 AM   #397
flatfloor
"da Leveler"
 
flatfloor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,280
__________________
Jim Buckley

This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.



Tile Calculator
New Here? Read this!
flatfloor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2003, 10:32 AM   #398
rj
da Versa-tile Guy -- Official Keeper of the JB Forums Album
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Orange County N.Y,
Posts: 519
FOURTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
By Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built theTitanic.

Thought for the day #2
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly
ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
__________________
If you have the proper tools and mindset......anything is possible !
.........
rj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2003, 05:05 PM   #399
davem
Systems Engineer and Moderator, JB Forums
 
davem's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Dexter, MI
Posts: 13,812
Send a message via AIM to davem Send a message via Yahoo to davem
He left out "Never pet a burning dog". That's one of my faves.
davem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2003, 05:40 PM   #400
Cami A
Official Hostess and Moderator at Large
 
Cami A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,943
Forgot to mention that the jokes about women driving SUVs while applying makeup can recommence.


Jack surprised me with a PT Cruiser last week. I love it.


(Yes, I had test driven one. The salesman wouldn't give me a decent deal on the trade-in, so I forgot about. Jack took my Tahoe back downstate to get "something checked". Can't believe he didn't tell me- he usually can't keep a secret!)
__________________
-Lovely Mackinaw City home for sale
Cami A is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2003, 03:35 AM   #401
dian57
Official Nurse -- JB Forums
 
dian57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Hudson Valley, NY
Posts: 276
Congratulations on the PT Cruiser, Cami. I've loved them since they first came out and figured I'd get one next time we needed a car. This weekend I sat in a Mini Cooper and it stole my heart away. Good thing my Camry's got years of life left in her, it would be a tough decision. What color is yours?

And I don't care what Dave Barry says, I expect my birthday to be a big deal until I take my last breath.
dian57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2003, 05:42 AM   #402
Cami A
Official Hostess and Moderator at Large
 
Cami A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,943
Cooper vs. Mini....not much of a choice for someone with a child. They're both fun cars, though. The back of the PT can swallow nearly two full size shopping carts full of stuff, though.

I couldn't be any happier with the Cruiser- it's my first new car ever, and it's got heated seats and all the other goodies that a girl could want. And I can fill up for (gasp) a twenty. I finally got to drive it more than 30 miles yesterday. It's the pearl green color LE.

Who sez money can't buy happiness?
__________________
-Lovely Mackinaw City home for sale
Cami A is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2003, 06:46 AM   #403
flatfloor
"da Leveler"
 
flatfloor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,280
Have fun Cami, if you really want the retro look get big wide whitewalls.
__________________
Jim Buckley

This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.



Tile Calculator
New Here? Read this!
flatfloor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2003, 01:54 PM   #404
tileguytodd
Official Felker Fanatic
 
tileguytodd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Northern MN
Posts: 14,398
And now we know the real reason why he gets away with taking off hunting & Fishing.Smart man,new PT Cruiser to coincide with opening of trout fishing

Congratulations Cami, You Deserve it.Have Fun!!!
__________________
TIP YOUR TILE MAN, His Retirement plan is not nearly as lucrative as yours and his waning years will be far more painful to boot.
He gives much so you can have a Beautiful Home!!
tileguytodd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2003, 03:47 PM   #405
tileguytodd
Official Felker Fanatic
 
tileguytodd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Northern MN
Posts: 14,398
Two guys from International Falls, MN die and wake up in Hell.

The Devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas,mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The Devil
asks them "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply "Vell, jya know, ve're from nordern Minnesota, the
land of snow and ice and, ve're just happy for a chance to varm up a
little bit, jya know."

The Devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up
the heat even more. When he returns to the room of two guys from
Minnesota, the Devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling
Walleye and drinking Beer.
The Devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and
you two seem to be enjoying yourself."

The two Minnesotans reply, "Vell, jya know, we don't get too much varm
veather up dere in da Falls, so ve've just got to have a fish fry vhen
the veathers dis nice."
The Devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he
comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have
been cold all their lives. The Devil decides to turn all the heat off in
Hell.

The next morning, the temperature is 40 below zero, icicles are hanging
everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail
moan or gnash their teeth. The Devil smiles and heads for the room with
the two Minnesotans. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas,
bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering,
yelling and screaming like mad men.

The Devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat
you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is
wrong with you two?"

The Minnesotans look at the Devil in surprise, "Vell, don't ya know, if
Hell froze over dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl."
__________________
TIP YOUR TILE MAN, His Retirement plan is not nearly as lucrative as yours and his waning years will be far more painful to boot.
He gives much so you can have a Beautiful Home!!
tileguytodd is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Stonetooling.com   Tile-Assn.com   National Gypsum Permabase


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:15 AM.


Sponsors

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2014 John Bridge & Associates, LLC