Used Submarine sale

[flatfloor]

John, how you guys doing? I hope your high and dry. We heard 6" of rain, true?

[Sponsored Links]

[John Bridge]

Actually, there were parts of town to the east and south that got closer to 12 inches in about 12 hours. I'm to the west of Houston, and we had a nice leisurely rain, probably what you would be used to up on Long Island. Came down all day, but nothing to write home about. [You ARE home, you nit-wit!]

And now we're back up to 90 degrees and sunny.

[kalford]

Yall hear bout the Texan that got caught in the flood?


It started rainin hard and soon it was up to their porches.One "Texan" was sitting on his porch when a couple fellers in a jon-boat came by."Hey,get in and we'll take ya to safety"..."naw"said the man"the Lord will take care of me" so they left.A little while later the water was up to the top of the porch and he was on the roof.A rescue boat came by..."come on...we'll save you"..."naw..the Lord will take care of me" so they left too.A while later the only thang you could see was the chimney and the "Texan" standin on top of it.A Coastguard helicopter came down.The man inside yelled "grab the rope and we'll fly you outta here!"....the Texan yelled back, "naw...the Lord will take care of me" Well, a little later the Texan was standin in front of the Lord.He looked at the Lord and said "why did you let me drown Lord?" The Lord look at the Texan and said "I SENT TWO BOATS AND A HELICOPTER!!!"

[John Bridge]

I've sat here for ten minutes trying to come up with a reason to be insulted, but when it comes right down to it, it sounds pretty much like the status quo.

[Sonnie Layne]

Y'know, it's really weird (or considerate), but I watch the weather all the time because I've always got at least on paint crew out, but in the mornings, 5:30 am, I look at the radar. I see we're gonna be ok for one more day, make the calls, then look and see that it's raining in Houston. Funny how I think of John and how it may be affecting his work (or his bursitis).
Goes around comes around, I'll blow some dry hot air your way, John. hahaha

buds,
sonnie

by the way, I'll take credit for the surgence of poplularity of Caladiums as ornamentals in the 90's. They can indeed be grown in pots in the summer, heat ain't the problem, but water definitely is. consider the specie is native to the banks of the Amazon. No more than 20 feet away from what I've learned. Kinda like that Australian tree fern that left me with a far away look in my eyes for much of my life, until I went there and saw where it was growing. It all made sense. Beg me and I'll give you the answer!!!!

amigo
sl

[John Bridge]

Well, I used to live in Phoenix, where it rains only once a year, all six inches of it. Much to dry. So out of the fat, into the fire. I don't know precisely what our annual rainfall is -- somewhere between 4 and 6 ft.

I think Sonnie must have seen my "pic of the month." I'll drive him crazy by not asking him about Caladiums.

http://www.johnbridge.com/picjune.htm

[flatfloor]

Geez, the price on the sub just went up again, are you still OK?

[John Bridge]

How many cubits in length is it?

[flatfloor]

Did you ever hear that great Bill Cosby Comedy album in which he's Noah?

God, what's a cubit?
and
God, 2 of each? who is going to clean up?

[Bud Cline]

"Noah"?
"Yes Lord"?

"I want you to build an ark".
"Yes Lord"?

"Noah I want you to build and ark 40 cubits by 20 cubits by 15 cubits".
"Yes Lord".

"Lord"?
"Yes Noah".

"What's a cubit"?

.....or something like that!

[John Bridge]

This may come as a shock to a few submarine vendors, but the actual official rainfall for Houston yesterday was less than half an inch. Our tally for this month is just over 5 inches. This is the truth, but try telling it to the folks who had 11 inches dumped on them in the Sugar Land area in the space of about three hours yesterday morning. Sugar land is a burb just to the southwest.

Now the National Weather Service is saying that Allison wasn't really a storm.

I'll tell ya, we are due a big one. Haven't had one hit here since 1983 (Alicia).

[flatfloor]

That's it Bud! Some of that stuff was really funny, ever hear Bob Newhart's Nuclear Sub Captain?
" We are about to surface in either Buenas Aires or NY harbor"
and
"We have set the record for greatest peacetime tonnage sunk"

John, good to hear your still afloat.

[John Bridge]

Thanks, Jim.

What I'm really worried about is Mt. Houston (or what's left of it). Add water errosion to the man-induced carnage, and, well, I'm afraid it might be the end. So far most of the rain has missed, though.

[flatfloor]

Maybe we can get some volunteers from FOOL out there to dig a moat around it. Maybe we can get some input from the Army Corpse of Engineers.

[John Bridge]

Great idea, Jim! Wish I'd thought of that myself. A moat! Of course! Not the Corps of Engineers, though. Mt. Houston would be washed away by the time I got the paperwork completed.

By the way, send the sub down, will you? I've got what sounds like a 12 in. rainfall beating on my roof right now. I'm afraid to look outside.

Hold it. Cancel the sub. It's letting up.

[flatfloor]

John it's Corpse, not Corps! Sheesh!

[John Bridge]

Uh, okay.

By the way, had one hell of a rain all through the night. Still high and dry. [I've told you, if you want to make this thing go, you've got to get the paddle IN the water, you ninny. Put your back into it, man.]

Some of the folks in other parts of town aren't so lucky, though, as you've seen on the news.

I went out and surveyed Mt. Houston this morning. So far she's holding her own, I'm happy to report.

[kalford]

Hey John,
Glad to see you're alright.When you weren't on this mornin and I saw all the flooding down there I was a little worried.The weather-channel paints a grim picture of Houston.

[John Bridge]

Yeah,

We're basking in celebrity it's bringing. I'm sure the folks whose cars are submerged are having a great time. I think the mean height above sea level here is 11 feet. I'm fortunate to be at about 25 feet. Our run-off is contributing to the other people's problems.

[Bud Cline]

JB,

Your kidding Right?

A corpes is a dead body usually but not necessarily human.
A Corps is a common body of people.

I will tell you tho that while a contractor for the Army Corps (Core) of Engineers for ten years in North Texas, everyone in the field referred to everyone in the Corps Office as Corpes's.

Now here's your test! Spell for me: Cementpro?, cementpro?, CementPro?, cement pro?, Cement Pro?

[flatfloor]

No wonder the army never answers any of my proposals, they always claimed they lost the paper work or the dog ate it.

Hang in there John, as long as Mt Houston's mighty peak is in view there's hope.

Bud they can spell it any way they want as long as it's on a check, I WILL get it cashed or else it will be over my dead copse.

[Edited by flatfloor on 06-09-2001 at 07:56 PM]

[Bud Cline]

Here's how dumb I can be sometimes:

When I first began contracting with the USACE, I would send an invoice and wait for my money, and wait and wait and wait. It would sometimes take as long as 90 days to get paid.

Hell I couldn't wait ninety days. This went on for months then one day I decided to complain (yeah like it would do me any good). I was going to have to find something else because they paid so damned slow but I loved the work and the work environment and didn't want to give it up.

I called and they told me I would have to discount my work (invoices) to fall under the "Prompt Payment Act" that Congress had put into law. "DISCOUNT"? "Hell I can't afford to work for you now, why would I want to discount anything, especially to the government"? I hung-up the phone really "pissed" and continued to work. Like I said I loved the work.

A few more months went by and I had some big payroll expenses on their behalf. My cash flow sucked and I had to meet payroll. So I called them again to complain.

This time I talked to a very nice and understanding employee, she understood my delima. She asked me how much I discounted. I said "DISCOUNT", "why would I want to discount to the Feds"? She said because if you do, I can have your money to you within fifteen days of your invoices, every month. "HOW MUCH DISCOUNT YOU TALKIN ABOUT" I demanded to know.

She said; "well Mr. Cline 1/4 to 1/2 of 1 percent would do it".

"oh"! It is good she couldn't see me crawling under my desk, that would have been even more embarrassing.

I suffered all those months for a lousy 1/4 of 1 percent.

That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. The checks were never late, always within fifteen days of my invoice if I properly crossed my T's and dotted my I's.

[John Bridge]

I thought I would revive this thing one more time. I made a lot of jokes during the Allison storm, while it seems a whole bunch of people in other areas were truly suffering. I just read a thread on one of the local gardening boards that I think sets the tone for what's going on here in the aftermath. These are plain folks describing the devestation in their own words. If you are interested, have a look.

http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/txgard/msg062111544363.html?25

[Bud Cline]

Things like that'll put a lump in your throat and take some of the smart ass out of ya won't it?

On the bright side though, it will all be over soon and most everyone will have some new experiences to tell their grand kids.

"Houston, we have a problem".

[Sonnie Layne]

yeah, it'll all be over soon. maybe in another 10 or so years when people re-acquire everything that's been washed down the drain. Maybe when the kids are grandparents they'll learn not to be afraid everytime it rains. Maybe.

[chip]

You don't have to look far to see just how lucky we are.

Bless them all!!

[Sonnie Layne]

I only have to look at the tip of my nose to realize I'm lucky to be alive. Then to look at my (all ten) fingers to realize I can work and play music. Then five feet away to the sleeping beauty to realize how lucky I am to know love.
I'm the luckiest guy alive.