One sentence story

[Oldrem]

A couple years ago I started a 3 word story thread. I'm glad to see Hamilton started another about a year ago. I'm starting another this time with a twist. It will be a one sentence story instead with a specific theme. Here are the rules:

#1 You can only add ONE SENTENCE at time to this story. (wait until someone else posts before adding another sentence). Please keep it a sentence and not a paragraph.
#2 It has to be kept CLEAN! (Innuendoes always welcome)
#3 Subject MUST REMAIN IN A COWBOY/COWGIRL THEME
#4 Read the posts above and be creative, try to keep a steady flow
If you add more than one sentence, you break the rule and
it messes up the fun so DON'T DO IT! When we get into
a few pages i will combine all the posts so it can be read
as a story. Enjoy and play by the rules! I'll start it off

One blustery night in New Mexico, a lone cowpoke lay silently beside his lowly fire staring up at the gray starless sky.

[Sponsored Links]

[java]

It had been 2 months since the horrible events back east had sent him west in search of answers.

[The Kid]

In a rush, he grabbed his pistolas.

[John Corley]

Because his instincts told him that death was coming fast!

[jjwq8]

The end!

[sdaniels7114]

...He knew was many posts (cough, I mean weeks) away.

[Mountain Tile]

He knew she would never forgive him.

[jjwq8]

The end!

[custombuilt]

The Silence, however was interrupted by a rustling sound in the bushes at the edge of his campsite.

[Mountain Tile]

Suddenly Jeremy and his trusty sidekick saw it move.

[jjwq8]

The end fercrissakes!

[Mountain Tile]

It was the sherriff ( cx ) letting Jeremy know the rules.

[bbcamp]

After CX finished, Jeremy bleated, "I know the rules, I simply choose to ignore them!":stirpot:

[Brad Denny]

"You bowdarkskull", replied cx, "did you really think Gobis wouldn't notice his best horses were gone from his ranch?!?"

[RedRockTile]

So they all sat down by the dwindling fire.

[cx]

"Them's really Gobis' horses?", Jeremy whined, gettin' all teary-eyed.

[Marge]

To which cx replied, "quit whining Jeremy, your tears are gonna put out the dwindling fire!"

[Mountain Tile]

Broke back Mountain would never be the same.

[ceramictec]

but luckily we have a couple members here to keep the story going.:yeah:

[Levi the Tile Guy]

He turned just in time to see the indians rushing them.

[bbcamp]

"Indians? Do they have reservations?" squeaked Jeremy, from his hiding place under CX's truck.

[Oldrem]

As they got closer, they could see the Indians were all squaws.

[Brad Denny]

Jeremy, cx, and the unnamed cowpoke instantly grabbed the stolen horses and fled camp, knowing they were no match for such a ornery group of women.

[Mountain Tile]

The women turned out to be a herd of bucket stealing snipe.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

but the squaws gave chase cause Jeremy owed their casino big bucks

[cx]

And that's when the cowpokes realized that not only did the Indians have reservations, they were on the one where the squaws' casino was located.

[Mark Krachenspiner]

It wasn't a time to worry about a poacher.

[Mountain Tile]

It was time to pay the preacher.

[Oldrem]

About that time a squaw squatted and squished a sneaky scorpion slithering slowly in the silky sand.

[myrubiateyoursigma]

where on earth is gueuze?

[Mountain Tile]

Sherriff CX rounded up the possy to find him.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

Although it war tough to get the posse away from the casino

[Brad Denny]

'Specially with the squaw stung by the scorpion putting on one heck of a dancin' show, who cx had decided to tie the knot with since the preacher was present.

[dgunnels]

Fortunately for CX, the preacher turned out to be a travelin' con man without a license so he was off the hook.

[Mountain Tile]

Except for that rash.

[Oldrem]

The next morning, everyone awoke to the sweet smell of fresh owl egg omelets.

[cx]

Someone remarked about how much easier them owl eggs was to git than them Peregrine Falcon eggs they'd had the other day.

[gueuzeman]

"Them eggs smell good" said gueuze, "I could smell 'em from alla way over yonder in the hangout."

gueuze

[java]

gueuze thought the peyote he got from the indian chicks "in the hangout" would go great with the eggs and tossed it in the pan.

[Davestone]

But little did he and the others know.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

That he would later be found up on a rock overhang howling at the moon

[Brad Denny]

What he thought was the moon was actually Gobis and three hired gunmen, Madman Musky, Darkeyes Davestone, and Jumpy Fingers JB, who were all going to make cx, Jeremy, the lone unnamed cowpoke, and the new acquired slightly off hallucinating gueuze pay for stealing his heard of horses.

[Mountain Tile]

Until they decided to try some peyote omlet left in the pan.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

and that is when all hell broke loose

[e3]

As the rain started to fall and the wind switched to the west ,you could hear it coming.

[Davestone]

They came up with a crazy scheme to get in on the new internet craze and start a website.

[Bellsfloors]

After seeing what a hit a "one sentence story" could be on the John Bridge Forum.

[e3]

I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger only to realize I forgot to load it so ,the only thing left to do was find a rope.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

but the lightnig just torched the only tree around so once again I was sol.

[Davestone]

And so ended the saga....but wait!

[custombuilt]

Just as the bloodbath battle neared its peak, general Custom crossed the ridge followed by an army of novices armed to the teeth with margin trowels.

[Mountain Tile]

Only to find the stream filled with naked sqauws.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

Suddenly all the margin trowels fell to the ground and the novices started running.

[gueuzeman]

Right into the creek.



gueuze

EDIT-
http://outside.away.com/images/outside/200308/swimming_hole.jpg
Havasu Falls, Havasupai Indian Reservation, Arizona (Tim Fitzharris/Index Stock)

[e3]

Uncoupling never entered their minds with all the girls ,just staring at the crack isolation membrane.

[jjwq8]

Is sterility really a dead end?

[Davestone]

Some people really know how to kill an idea.....they thought, as they retreated.

[Mountain Tile]

Just then CX yelped out " Head'em off at the pass "

[Davestone]

But it was too late, the naked squaws got away.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

what a shame

[Davestone]

But it was all for the best, because what they saw next made everything they had ever seen pale in comparison.

[dgunnels]

It rose out of the creek, covered in mud.

[irish tileguy in michigan]

was it a bird , was it a plane , no its----------

[Levi the Tile Guy]

calamity Jane

[Davestone]

The rootinest tootinest tile girl in all of cyberspace,there in her muddy naked glory with a huge tattoo.

[Mountain Tile]

She pulled out her magic lasso and made CX tell the truth.

[Davestone]

And once he started he couldn't stop,until he got to the part about Flatfloor.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

and that was to much for her to hear

[Davestone]

So she clicked her heels three times and.

[muskymike]

Poof, she turned CX into an owl.

[Mountain Tile]

The legend of the cursed naked squaw owl had begun.

[muskymike]

Then as CX flew off into the sunset, he remembered he must be careful of hunters, being that owl tastes like chicken.

[Davestone]

Wherever he flew he set off a hatching of owl eggs the likes had never been seen before.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

eric,

Weren't you gonna combine all of these:rolleyes:

[muskymike]

Just as Levi jumped in, CX sweep down and picked Levi up an flew him off to a far away place.

[Mountain Tile]

Meanwhile, back at town.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

The squaws came dancin into town and got everybody's heads turned upside down

[myrubiateyoursigma]

where the hell is gueuze?

[gueuzeman]

Gueuze was masquerading as a sheriff, having a few "schnitzendruben" with the dancing squaws teacher.
http://www.morethings.com/fan/blazing_saddles/madeline_kahn-cleavon_little.jpg

gueuze

[Levi the Tile Guy]

And then jane popped up from nowhere and ruined all his fun.

[gueuzeman]

http://www.eskie.net/superior/west/images/jane_2c.jpg

gueuze

[gueuzeman]

http://images.dawgsports.com/images/admin/Cowgirls_Get_the_Blues_by_Robbins.jpg

gueuze

[muskymike]

Fearing for his life, Gueuze reached for his six shooter but was too slow.

[Mountain Tile]

Calamity Jane wacked him in the back of the head with a frying pan.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

but that wasn't enough to stop gueze, that just made him mad.

[gueuzeman]

Mad that he had a six shooter instead of a six pack, and didn't have any more owl eggs to put the frying pan to good use.

gueuze

[Levi the Tile Guy]

and that bottle of whiskey was just about gone:mad:

[Mountain Tile]

So he decided to teach Jane a lesson with his repeating rifle.

[Levi the Tile Guy]

but she ended up teaching him the lesson

[jjwq8]

cuz any fool knows, blanks is blanks and lessen it is weed, smoke is just smoke.

[gueuzeman]

Gueuze scratched his head and wondered how news of his vasectomy had reached the middle east, and if Jane knew, as rumor had it she was looking to get herself a few little calamity critters.


gueuze

[Levi the Tile Guy]

The internet, of course!

[jjwq8]

And the town council had just approved funding for sperm cell research and Calamity's girls thus went door to door eliciting generous donations

[gueuzeman]

Meanwhilel, back in Valhallah, Laz was drinking blood out of a skull and chatting up the local girrls......

http://www.joras.dk/MySql/forum/uploads/2578/vikingdragt3.jpg

gueuze