Ode to the JB Forum Mudmen

[marinemom]

No sleep last night - was tossing and turning,
Visions of tile, through my mind, swirling;
Burnt clay, glazed tiles, tiles that get hazy -
I really think I'm going crazy!

Plumb lines, grout lines, and floating mortar,
"Don't forget to center your border."
Stress cracks, U-cuts, lap joints, and screed,
"No pickle buckets!" - a Mudmeister's creed.

Not a good thing when there's water detection,
"But first you must test for sub-floor deflection."
Pre-slopes, and re-bars, and SLC,
"Has anyone found the d@!# glossary???"

Curbs, and angles, and insulation
must all be taken into consideration;
Sub-floors, substrates, and vertical cracking,
Membranes, sealers, and corner joint packing.

L-cuts, spacers,soapstone, and lath -
(There's chicken wire under my bath???)
Weep holes in drains, nippers, and niches,
Lime green shag carpet will leave you in stitches!

Risers, and studs, breakstrength and tone -
waaayyy too much testosterone!
I-joints, inserts, and insulation,
3"-long screws for best penetration.

Dead loads, live loads, and loads that sound kooky,
Fat mud, thin-set, and something called "pookie."
Sistering, uncoupling, and dam concerns -
Amazing, all the things one learns!

Decisions, decisions - I debate in my mind -
Kerdi with Ditra, or shower pans, lined?
There's Backer, and Easy, and Wonder Board, too,
And Durock and Wedi - to name just a few.

There's glass mesh and fiber, and cementitious,
There's even one for the tanks of the fishes!
Tiling quicksand, or gerbils - there's nothing much to it -
"Even DIYers can eventually do it!"

My friends on the forum want me to know,
"Those logs that you got - they shrink and they grow."
"Build walls," they say. Wish that I could;
I'm able to tile. But dealing with wood???

So much info - I'm so confused!
They think it's great. I'm not amused.
It's scary and can get confusing,
an uphill battle you think you're losing.

"I can't go on! I think I'm dead!"
But wait - they just posted a new thread;
"It's no big deal - you can do it!
We're right here - we'll walk you through it."

"Go read the book," I am told.
"It's really worth its weight in gold."
"All that info will be unfurled,
in that book, Tile Your World ".

I read the book and have you heard?
It starts off with a guy named Gherd.
The book is great! Concise, well-phrased;
my mind unclutters - I am amazed.!

I even get up to draw a picture
of how I planned on using Ditra.
Yahoo - for now, all is well -
clear as the proverbial bell!

A great big thanks, you forum guys,
and JB, too, a man so wise,
Just thought I'd say this now, before
a million questions, and a million more!

-Daniela

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[Dave Taylor]

I'm speechless.

Very nice.

Thank you Daniela.

[davem]

Wow! I really enjoyed that. Thanks. :)

[Shaughnn]

Daniela,
That was spectacular. Thank you! You must have read the ENTIRE archive for some of those references? Truly inspired!!
:bow:
Shaughnn

[Marge]

Most excellent! :)

[JTG]

What a talent!
Thanks
JTG

[ceramictec]

yeah, very good work.
are you a writer or song writer by chance ?

[ckl111]

http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/images/smilies/clap.gifhttp://forum.e46fanatics.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

[Dave U.K.]

truly is an awsome forum guys..keep up the good work..... :yipee:

[marinemom]

A very humble 'Thank You' http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/ashamed002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org) to all of you.

Neither writer nor songwriter I profess to be,
Just a mom, with two kids all grown, you see.
Don't know where it came from, or how it got there;
(Is this how Seuss started? In a bar? On a chair?)

It just came to me - all of those threads,
stumbling around, inside of my head.
Now if I could just make use of it all
to finish that shower - the walls, and the stall!

No shortage of info or determination;
(I think it's just called procrastination!)
It's so much more fun to rhyme a word;
O.K., enough said. Now back to 'Gherd'....

[ceramictec]

where in Flori-duh are you ?

seems like your in a Happy Place, Disney ? :D

[cx]

Well, I think you certainly coulda picked a better hero for your poemtry than ol' Gherd, Daniela. :rolleyes:

Gherd wasn't never much of a tile man, hisownself, him prolly bein' over forty or fifty million before tiles was even gettin' thought up, eh? That was all even before Flatfloor's time. :D

[marinemom]

:lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: Brian - that was great! Close ~ Daytona.

You must have read the ENTIRE archive for some of those references
It's amaz-a-zing all the stuff you come across, trying to find references that are 'spose to be here "somewhere". :D

[ceramictec]

I'm always over in Daytona.
used to get my haircut at Salon230 on Magnolia Downtown.
did a few Developments outside heading to Port Orange.
and I just did a Condo re-do few months ago on Halifax.

love the Speedway, Caribbean Jack's, theres a nice healthy place on
Beach Street called, "Dancing Avocado Kitchen (http://images.citysearch.net/profile/03/d0/2227159p1.jpg) "......mmm good !

and just last Sunday was at DeLeon Springs - Sugar Mill to make pancakes at your table.

[John Bridge]

What can I say, Daniela? It's all been said. Very excellent word smithing, indeed. :)

More than one person has asked me what ever became of Gherd and his clan, and I intend some day to discover and report the rest of the story. Thanks for getting me thinking about it. :)

[marinemom]

Brian ~
I, too like the excitement of the Speedway. Was there just a couple of weeks ago, at the time of the motorcycle races(on an off day) as part of the pit crew for my daughter's boyfriend. Runner-up to the smell of AVGAS, is hearing race bikes scream. :)
Haven't been to Deleon Springs in years. You gave me a great idea, though! (Isn't that where the manatees are? Or is that at Blue Springs?)
John~
Thanks for getting me thinking about it
My pleasure!
Maybe ... you could write a kids' book, starring Ol' Gherd. (That way you could get little mudmeisters on the right track, without them even knowing it!) :yipee:

[marinemom]

Well, I think you certainly coulda picked a better hero for your poemtry than ol' Gherd, Daniela.
CX ~ But I like ol' Gherd. He showed incentive. Besides, if it weren't for him and his story, we might all be living on mud floors now. Oh wait...
And, his name is sooo easily rhyme-able.http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/happy023.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

[Tool Guy - Kg]

You even spelled "lath" correctly. :tup2:

[marinemom]

:D
In all honesty, I did look it up.
(And by the way, what's a lathe ?

[cx]

A lathe, aside from being a tool for making round objects, is the correct spelling for the material used as an armature for plaster of various types. It's been dumbed down to lath so some tradespeople wouldn't suffer damage to their self esteem, eh? :)

I've tried to promote proper spelling and grammar hereabouts for years, to not much success as you can clearly see, eh? :rolleyes:

My opinion; worth price charged.

[ceramictec]

Brian ~
I, too like the excitement of the Speedway. Was there just a couple of weeks ago, at the time of the motorcycle races(on an off day) as part of the pit crew for my daughter's boyfriend. Runner-up to the smell of AVGAS, is hearing race bikes scream.my friend raced Superbikes there and I was there last year during tire test and the races.
I didn't do Biketobefest this year, was at a Halloween party with my GF. but always go to Bike Week.

I'm in the Red working on the bike. that is Eraldo Ferraci from (Fast by Ferraci) (http://www.ferracci.com/about/about.php) in the hat.
your daughters boyfriend will know him. and my friend that raced for him is in the back in red.
http://i33.tinypic.com/30l0ys2.jpg

here are some pictures I took from times there.

i go to the Superbike races, the Nascar race, Dirtbikes and the Rolex 24 hour race.
and I did the Richard Petty Driving School on the Daytona track..........love it !

http://i38.tinypic.com/2nbgkr9.jpg http://i35.tinypic.com/2dgooi0.jpg
http://i37.tinypic.com/11tr32p.jpg http://i35.tinypic.com/2hdcuhh.jpg
http://i35.tinypic.com/14j86th.jpg




Haven't been to Deleon Springs in years. You gave me a great idea, though! (Isn't that where the manatees are? Or is that at Blue Springs?)Deleon has a natural spring swimming area, but the manatees dont head up that far. they go to blue Springs in Orange City.

[marinemom]

Great photos Brian! I would love to do the RP driving school, or the one out in Cali, by Scott somebody. (?)
-- was gonna post a photo for you from photo gallery, but ... DOH!

[ceramictec]

I would love to do the RP driving school,it's really fun at the Daytona track. then you get to see and feel what the real racers feel like when going 170 mph...if you can get your car that fast :D

here is me out on the track and some others from the School:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdnbS1ZewVw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZS5pdtkuuo




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[Hamilton]

Daniela, you have obviously been paying attention :) I can remember trying
to go to sleep at night when I first started in this trade. Days spent grouting,
day after day. I would see black tile with white grout lines as my eyes were
closed trying to sleep lol. The grid was burned into my sight :uhh: Well done
on your poem, Loved it! :jack:

[John Bridge]

"It's been dumbed down to lath so some tradespeople wouldn't suffer damage to their self esteem, eh? "

It's been lath since way before I joined the trade. I think you're going back to the Canterbury Tales era maybe. ;)

[marinemom]

So, I've deduced from this word origin discussion that "lath" and "lathe" are pronounced the same (i.e., long "a", as in "bathe) and lath does NOT rhyme with "bath"??? Both words rhyme with "bathe"?http://img2.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/confused/confused0042.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-aim-smileys.php)

Quick ... where's the EDIT button ...

[Hamilton]

Lath is pronounced the same as bath :nod: In a sentence it may be said:
I used metal lath to rough the bath,
the cuts endured created my wrath. :)
Ok, I tried...thats all I have lol. :lol1:

[ceramictec]

not to be confused with a Lathe :D

http://i36.tinypic.com/34fzdwg.jpg

[marinemom]

Whew! Thanks, Jack. Thanks, Brian. :goodpost:
Good thing I didn't edit -- I really haven't been able to come up with anything cute, in case "lath" was pronounced as "lathe."
Best I could do was, "... chicken wire underneath where I bathe..."
Of course this is all a moot point now. :x:

One of the threads, a while back, had this funny game going, where each person was only allowed to post 3 words, and the idea was to get a 'story', of sorts, going. Anybody game?


Gherd's brother, Ghund ... :corn: