Yikes!

[Bri]

Found this while surfing...

http://www.jsonline.com/news/metro/sep01/menard07090601a.asp

[Sponsored Links]

[Bud Cline]

Ahhhhhh!!! Menards my ONLY local Big Box. Just two more illegal aliens dying to get into the tile business.

[JC]

No wonder it take so long to get an order in. How much ya wanna bet that the tile will still get used...

Bud if your on a job and the tile smells funny.........

[cx]

Y'all are missing the point!

Clearly, tile is too dangerous for the common man and there should be at least a 7 day waiting period for the purchase of any tile product!

And a lock on the tile container is obviously not even enough!

And as for having tile in your home..........

A BAN! That's what this country needs! A BAN on ALL TILE!

[flatfloor]

Dawn Sanders, the spokeswoman for Menards "We have never had anything like this happen before" that has got to be one of the dumbest statements I have ever heard.

[Rob Z]

Kelly

Now if they ban tile, then only the tilesetters will have tile. The average citizen won't have any tile, and will resort to using alternative floor coverings like vinyl and indoor/outdoor carpet.

The "tilenuts" will claim that they have a constitutional right to set tile, but enlightened liberals will say that that wasn't really the intent of the Founding Fathers. Even though passage after passage of their writings clearly demonstrate that they wished the entire populace to be in possession of tile, fuzzy logic and irrational thinking will prevail.

Dimwitted psuedo actresses named Rosie will rant and rave about the nned to de-tile the public, but she will still have a tilesetter by her side at all times, ready to pull out a tile if she is threatened.

Various jurisdictions will attempt to sue the manufacturers of tile, even if it is produced legally.

Other legal end runs will be tried, including banning the sale of trowels and thinset. there will be attempts to allow people to have tile, but they will be made to register each and everypiece.

Finally, the liberal governor of Maryland will require locks on tile at all time (except for his security detail of course), and will demonstrate for over two minutes at a press conference just how easy it is to remove the tile lock from a piece of tile. He will then give up in frustration and hand the tile to the state policement next to him.

[John Bridge]

I think somebody oughta start keepin' an eye on Rob. He's pretty near the edge.

[flatfloor]

He will be OK by Mon. I sent him to the other place to cool off.

[twelvepole]

That's the most gruesome tile story I've ever heard.

[Rob Z]

John

I'm okay, but I am usually ready to go off with any of the following topics: gun control, tax and spend politicians, political correctness, lousy quality work in any trade, Big Government, and light beer.

It's Kelly's fault for gettin' me started.

Don't worry, I won't be going postal or anything.

Z

[Bud Cline]

Those two guys found in the tile container aren't the only dead people at a Menards Store.

[JC]

Someone say gun-control?

[Rob Z]

ERRRGGG!!

[Bri]

I'm not sure which way your leaning Rob?...is Chuck Heston your favourite actor..or not?

Brian

[JC]

Well said Bri.

[Rob Z]

Actually, he doesn't do much for me.

I think Robert Duvall is the most talented actor of our time.

[Bri]

...but he's into Flaminco dancing...what's that have to do with gun control?....uhmm..now I'm lost...again

ps Heston was in my 3 favourite Sci-fi films

1.Planet of the apes
2. Soylent Green
3. The Omega Man

because of this, he can have as many guns as he wants(though he's pretty good with a chariot too)

BRian

[Rob Z]

Uhhh, not sure what Flamenco dancing has to do with it. Sorry.

[Bri]

Sorry my mistake...it's the Tango Duval is into...but yeah he's great.

[Rob Z]

Bri

Do you like "The Simpsons"?

They had a great spoof once where Homer started flipping out like Chuck in Planet of the Apes.

[Rob Z]

The Omega Man? I missed that one. Whatsit about??

[Bri]

Omega man?..last man on earth,except for the mutants of course who spend the whole movie trying to kill him...great scene where he walks into a car dealership, hagles with the salesman(who's a corpse) ans then drives the new Corvette out the showroom window down the empty expressway..classic 70's sci-fi.....damm them all to hell!!!!

Brian

[cx]

Nuff a that movies and sci-fi stuff, let's get back to gun control. I think Rob's cute when he puffs up and turns red like that.

And for those of you who don't know, my comments really got ol' Rob stirred up on accounta he's been known to SHOOT TILES with GUNS! Oh yeah, he really does.

That's how come I knew he'd get crazy about a waiting period to buy tile.

Now you know - - - the rest of the story.


PS: Aside from his position on gun control, I think Heston is an ass. But that's another story, and Labor Day is over and John said I couldn't have no Labor Forum.

[JC]

I'm lost like blairwitch in this thread. I thought it was about...then it changed too..and now it is about..ah crap damn them all to hell!!

[Bri]

Oh my god...the subject changed in a thread! Soylent green is people!!!!!ahhhhhh.

[Rob Z]

Kelly

I'll listen to your rants about Labor if you'll listen to mine.

For those of you that haven't tried it...shooting leftover white 4 1/4" tiles is cheaper and more fun than clay pigeons.

Did any of you actually see MD Gov Parris Glendening last year in the infamous press conference?

I'll get off my soap box now, unless Kelly gets me riled up again.

Z

[John Bridge]

Heston was even around when I started watching movies. Soylent is great. Omega, too. What about "Hawaii"? Great book. What about Michener? My man.

Union talk is a pisser, Kelly, but I tole yu yu can say anything yu want her.

Gun control is a subject close to my heart. Rob and I have discussed it in private (true confessions). We're on the same page. I own an AK-47. Tell 'em what you got, Rob.

Did you know they've just about completely outlawed guns in Oz?

Hold it. What WAS the subject here, JC?

[flatfloor]

Michener probably my favorite author, on second thought definitely. How about Centenial? Think I'm due to read that again. Anyone for Ayn Rand?

[John Bridge]

Unfortunately, Ann R. wasn't as prolific as James M. Centennial is great, as is The Covenent, The Tel, Alaska, Texas, Space, Tales of the South Pacific, etc. etc. Don't bother with "Mexico," though. Somebody found it on a shelf in his closet and published it. It drags a bit. Hawaii is my all-time favorite (favourite). Have worn out two paperbacks re-reading it.

[cx]

Me, I like boff of them guys a lot, Ayn Rand and Jim Mitchner that is. Only ever read two of Rand's - Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. Are more I should try? Done read alla them Mitchners 'cept Mexico, and one more whose name I disremember. Good save, John, I'll skip that one.

Any votes for Leon Uris?

[Bri]

In a lighter vein...ever read Ian Flemming's Bond novels? Way better than the movies...(though you can't beat Connery as Bond)

Brian

No gun control in these babys!

[John Bridge]

Think I only read one Bond/Ian Flemming. Long time ago.

Leon Uris? He's the guy who made a reader out of me. Think I was nineteen when I picked up Exodus. I've been a voracious devourer of books ever since. I'll tell you the truth, though. I have Trinity lying on my night table gathering dust. I have tried very hard to read that book. Don't think I'm ever going to get into it. Pretty dreary crap.

Bri, I know you're not as old as I am, but have you ever heard of Mike Hammer?

[Bri]

Never read a Mike Hammer novel...but used to watch the tv show with Stacy Keach...had a bit Sam Marlow? in him didn't he?

Brian

[Bill]

Wow;

You guys ever read any of Patricia Cornwell's books. Her book "Black Notice" starts out by finding a guy dead in a shipping container. Here's a bit of Frog for ya, "Le Loup Garou." Solve that one for a free beer tomorrow!

I'll read just about anything. There were 8 kids in my family and my parents brought home an arm load of books from the Library every Friday. At a young age I learned to grab a book and go hide where I could have some peace and quite and I would get lost for hours. Nothing better than a good book!

Read everything Arthur C Clarke ever wrote, along with Heinlein, Asimov, Pohl, Ellison, Varley, etc. Same with John Grisham, Tom Clancy, Pat Conroy. Clive Cussler and Michner, are awesome story tellers. Dearly love the wit and clever writing of John Irving and Tom Robbins. Anne Rice gets my vote for a bit of the macabre! Best in classics has to go to Dickens!

[Rob Z]

My favorite novel is "The Count Of Monte Cristo". Even though I was a geology major in college, my favorite class was Shakespeare.

[cx]

Far too easy to get beers around here.

Le Loup-Garou (it's hyphenated, I believe) would be a Warewolf, I'll guess. A rather light colored Warewolf in that particular story.

Do I get extra prize for knowing the shipping container was NOT filled with tile?

I've read a few Cornwells. But I find that most of those writers who use the same characters book after book start to lose my interest after not too many. Even though they be very good wordsmiths.

My opinion; worth price charged.

[cx]

I've been a comonsewer of Billy Shakespeare most of my adult life and still wasn't aware he wrote "The Count of Monte Cristo", Rob.

Well, that's what he said!

Not a novelist, but are there any votes for Damon Runyon, whose name I may have misspelled? Master of the very short story. Told always in the present tense. Great fun.

[Rob Z]

Kelly

I'll be sending "Punctuation Tips For Texans" to you soon. It will explain to you the use of that little dot separating those two sentences.

Everyone knows that "The Count Of Monte Cristo" was written by Dr. Seuss, not Shakespeare.

[cx]

"Punctuation Tips For Texans"? That your entry for the "Shortest Books Ever Written" competition?

Little dots? Who cares where little dots are? We juss read what the words say.

And did you not note how effortlessly this ol' Texan won that free beer up the page a little?

[John Bridge]

Le Compte de Monte Cristo -- Alexandre Dumas (pere). Also, Les Trois Mousquetiers, et Viengt Ans Apres.

My favourite, though, is Victor Hugo -- Les Miserables.

In English, of course it has to be Dickens, but in American is has to be Mark Twain.

Non-fiction English -- Winston Churchill, hands down.

So much for classics, now what about John Steinbeck?

Short stories: Edna St. Vincent Benet.