Rob Z
08-01-2001, 08:48 PM
Art and John said to tell this one, so here goes
When I was in ROTC in college, we went on a FTX that was supposed to be some sort of patrol type of adventure. It was to be a real (simulated) patrol, with a mission, maps, weapons, steathly movements in the woods, MRE's, etc etc, with a simulated escape out of enemy territory in....canoes. I seem to remember the op order included something about partisans would be available to steal conoes and provide us with safe passage back to home. So, we start out on this overnight patrol. We had two PRC 77's (radios), two M60's, and everyone else had M 16's. I was stupid enough to volunteer to carry one of the radios, in addition to the rucksack and M16, and all the extra batteries for the damn radio. My best friend Al (now an FBI agent in CAL) wanted to carry the M60. Problem was, all our so called cadets friends wouldn't carry any batteries or ammo, so we were miserable from the start. Then it started to rain, the cadet in charge of the map got us lost, and someone seemed to always be calling me on the radio from the front asking to "send up the count". We made about 0.25 MPH, but we didn't lose anyone in the dark.
So it pretty much sucked, as you can imagine, the entire weekend, in the rain ( Ithink this is where I learned to appreciate hot coffee, as my Dad said I would). Until the "Great Escape" in the canoes. This would be cool, I thought. Floating down river, pretending to be Rangers.
It was very cool until we hit rapids. Not rapids like you see people go on those trips in big rafts, but big enough to start putting a bunch of green bean cadets in the water cos they don't have a clue how to paddle and handle a canoe.
Well, our fearless leader, Captain (anonymous), starts trying to give orders while people are capsizing all over the place. He's yelling at me (still up river) not to lose the radio in the river. He barking orders like we are in the Navy and would know what he's talking about. Bow? Stern? Starboard? Port? What's that?
Amid mass confusion, and lots of wet cadets and lost equipment, Captain X calls for my canoe to come over and pull him out of the water (his boat capsized in some rapids, and he managed to get to some rocks). I yelled downstream "Sir, do you really think you can fit in this canoe with two already in here?" I'm thinking that he's nuts, how in the world can we manage to paddle to these rocks in these rapids and let him in the boat? He's steadily losing his *%$#, so we paddle that way. We tried to slow the canoe down and managed to get into a little area protected from the current. He tries to climb in and tips the boat over. I go into the water with the other cadet. Captain X is trying to get us to right the canoe, save the radio, our rucks, the rifles, and all the other junk at the same time. (we are in waist to chest deep water) And all I can think about is how much force the water has on the side of this canoe.
So he actually manages to get back in the canoe. It has about 6 inches of water in it, no oars (they are downstream), and he starts floating away. he heads straight for some rocks, turns the boat so the open side faces upstream. It completely catches the current, and the force of the water wraps this aluminum canoe around these rocks in about 10 seconds. The water pressure crumpled this canoe like a beer can.
So, there was our squared away Ranger qualified, macho Army Captain who was responsible for this patrol, and led it into complete disaster. And spent the end of it yelling like the Captain on "Caine Mutiny".
In case you're wondering, we were told about all the scary stuff that would happen is you lost a rifle you had signed for, so you can bet that my canoe partner and I were diving in that dirty river to retrieve the M16's we lost. I don't think the radio was ever recovered.
Not as good as JC's story, but the former enlisted guys will appreciate it.
Rob
[Edited by Rob Zschoche on 08-01-2001 at 11:04 PM]
When I was in ROTC in college, we went on a FTX that was supposed to be some sort of patrol type of adventure. It was to be a real (simulated) patrol, with a mission, maps, weapons, steathly movements in the woods, MRE's, etc etc, with a simulated escape out of enemy territory in....canoes. I seem to remember the op order included something about partisans would be available to steal conoes and provide us with safe passage back to home. So, we start out on this overnight patrol. We had two PRC 77's (radios), two M60's, and everyone else had M 16's. I was stupid enough to volunteer to carry one of the radios, in addition to the rucksack and M16, and all the extra batteries for the damn radio. My best friend Al (now an FBI agent in CAL) wanted to carry the M60. Problem was, all our so called cadets friends wouldn't carry any batteries or ammo, so we were miserable from the start. Then it started to rain, the cadet in charge of the map got us lost, and someone seemed to always be calling me on the radio from the front asking to "send up the count". We made about 0.25 MPH, but we didn't lose anyone in the dark.
So it pretty much sucked, as you can imagine, the entire weekend, in the rain ( Ithink this is where I learned to appreciate hot coffee, as my Dad said I would). Until the "Great Escape" in the canoes. This would be cool, I thought. Floating down river, pretending to be Rangers.
It was very cool until we hit rapids. Not rapids like you see people go on those trips in big rafts, but big enough to start putting a bunch of green bean cadets in the water cos they don't have a clue how to paddle and handle a canoe.
Well, our fearless leader, Captain (anonymous), starts trying to give orders while people are capsizing all over the place. He's yelling at me (still up river) not to lose the radio in the river. He barking orders like we are in the Navy and would know what he's talking about. Bow? Stern? Starboard? Port? What's that?
Amid mass confusion, and lots of wet cadets and lost equipment, Captain X calls for my canoe to come over and pull him out of the water (his boat capsized in some rapids, and he managed to get to some rocks). I yelled downstream "Sir, do you really think you can fit in this canoe with two already in here?" I'm thinking that he's nuts, how in the world can we manage to paddle to these rocks in these rapids and let him in the boat? He's steadily losing his *%$#, so we paddle that way. We tried to slow the canoe down and managed to get into a little area protected from the current. He tries to climb in and tips the boat over. I go into the water with the other cadet. Captain X is trying to get us to right the canoe, save the radio, our rucks, the rifles, and all the other junk at the same time. (we are in waist to chest deep water) And all I can think about is how much force the water has on the side of this canoe.
So he actually manages to get back in the canoe. It has about 6 inches of water in it, no oars (they are downstream), and he starts floating away. he heads straight for some rocks, turns the boat so the open side faces upstream. It completely catches the current, and the force of the water wraps this aluminum canoe around these rocks in about 10 seconds. The water pressure crumpled this canoe like a beer can.
So, there was our squared away Ranger qualified, macho Army Captain who was responsible for this patrol, and led it into complete disaster. And spent the end of it yelling like the Captain on "Caine Mutiny".
In case you're wondering, we were told about all the scary stuff that would happen is you lost a rifle you had signed for, so you can bet that my canoe partner and I were diving in that dirty river to retrieve the M16's we lost. I don't think the radio was ever recovered.
Not as good as JC's story, but the former enlisted guys will appreciate it.
Rob
[Edited by Rob Zschoche on 08-01-2001 at 11:04 PM]