And I thought I had problems

[LadyGodiva]

So my neighbour comes over to do the usual 'condolences' deal and I get her to talk about herself instead.

Her sister was married for 32 years, and just turned 60. Hubby decided he wanted a divorce and he moves out. She thought her life was really bad until he told her he was gay all those years!!! They had three children. What I don't get is this...how do you live a lie and live with the opposite sex when you're really wanting a man all these years????? :sick: :eek: :suspect:

I have nothing against gays or being gay, but I just had to ask Gerard if he's sure he wants to stay with me, or if there is some guy out there that he fancies! :yummy:

[Sponsored Links]

[MHI]

He probably just didn't meet the right guy until now.:D

[kquilts]

The exact thing happened to my friend. She was married for 29 years and had two children. One child was in college and the other was in High School. Her husband told her he was gay and started dating other men before she could get him out of the house.

A few years ago we were friends with a really nice family. He flew for American, and they had a darling little girl in Junior High. He decided to get a sex change and the wife stayed with him/her. They are now living together as two married women and the poor little girl had terrible emotional problems.

You just never know........

[Shaughnn]

Eli,
With all of the social pressures evident, do you REALLY not understand how someone would force themselves to live a lie rather than expose themselves to such a maelstrom of ridicule and loathing? For many "closeted" men and women, their own ingrained expectations of who they *should* love drive them into deep cycles of self-loathing and despair.
For many of my friends who are "gay", it's the liberating act of exposing themselves at any cost that has left them so "happy" with who they are. I've seen loving families morph into vengeful mobs when a child or sibling makes the very difficult decision to "out' themselves. San Francisco has gained the reputation of being a "gay mecca" but it's a falsely earned title. We don't make homosexuals here in San Francisco. In truth, we's just a little too self-obsessed to care about what anybody else is doing with their lives while we flitter through our own. And in the vaccuum of criticism, a sanctuary was formed.
You want to see happy people, just come to a gay event and make the effort to see past the sex( it can be difficult at times :eek: ). Them's some damn happy folks who are huggin and kissin on each other and who have damn happy kids with them and who have damn happy dogs and cats and parrots.
But to get into that parade, sometimes you have to peel back your own skin and throw yourself onto a threshing floor. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to work up that kind of courage?
Shaughnn

[Davestone]

Maybe he was just sick of her whining. :bow: :yeah:

[tileguytodd]

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Ol Ben woulda put em all on the front lines and marched em through a field towards the redcoats :)

I dont care what they do in the privacy of thier own lives,but exposing children to thier alternate lifestyle, screaming for recognition and wanting to preach gay lifestyles in schools make me want to pack em all off to an island thats prepped for military testing.

Homophobic?? flaming :D

[Shaughnn]

Silly Todd,
The only "preaching" being done in our schools is being done by religious zealots and idealogues. Contrary to the evangelical hysteria, there really isn't any sort of recruitment agenda within the gay community. What you may be mistaking for "flaunting" is more accurately the efforts of a segnent of society to avoid itself from being routinely beaten and left to die on a lonely barbed-wire fence,
If you are feeling uncomfortable about two men holding hands in a supermarket or about two Mommies playing with their children in a public park, perhaps the problem is in you instead of them?
Just a thought, :D
Shaughnn

[Airborne]

I've concluded long ago that my little brain is ill-equiped to figger it all out. Sometimes I just gotta say "I don't get it" and move on. While I understand the revolting nature of the extreme examples cited by both camps, I get lost in the vast grey area which lies between the extremes (otherwise refered to as "the real world"). :cool:

[Shaughnn]

But Art, the question isn't whether any of us approve of another person's choices. It's about how do we come to understand how someone can live 50 years before making a life-altering revealation.
It's a bit ironic that no one is as confussed when a lifelong aetheist decides to be baptised? Or on the other extreme, when a man or woman has a departure of faith?
Shaughnn

[Bri]

I had the same problem when I switched from Mastic to Thin set. ;)

[flatfloor]

Bri, it is whispered in some circles that you occasionally backslide. :D

[bbcamp]

Bri, it is whispered in some circles that you occasionally backslide. :D

If that happens, use spacers.

[Airborne]

It's about how do we come to understand how someone can live 50 years before making a life-altering revealation.
It's a bit ironic that no one is as confussed when a lifelong aetheist decides to be baptised? Or on the other extreme, when a man or woman has a departure of faith?
Shaughnn
I guess I stand by my earlier statement with regard to religion or lack thereof; as I've gotten a bit further away from my adolescent smugness, I've realized I have less and less answers or explainations for what I observe around me.

As to the social stigma attached to changing from one philisophical or lifestyle road to another, I think people are gonna gossip no matter what. Extremists claiming membership in any group are going to be out of line (hence the term EXTREMIST) and there are violent people who clothe themselves in the flag of every different group. I agree that the majority of the gay community is not militant, just as the majority of socially conservative Christians aren't bombing gay bars or abortion clinics. It is the unusual that piques interest and provides material for the full gamit of media outlets.

I think there is lots of common ground upon which people can coexist.

[Shaughnn]

Art,
It sound's like we've got lots of common ground also. :)
Shaughnn

[LadyGodiva]

Okay, I tried to pass the news on and make it light, but I do understand where Shaughn is coming from. Yes I can understand why this man hid his preference all these years. What I don't understand though is how his wife couldn't tell...surely you pick up signs? Anyway, I think both people are hurting...he, because he stifled his feelings for so long and knew he was living a lie, and she because it's a major shock to think she lived with someone who wasn't true to her.

Divorce is divorce. It's going to hurt like hell. I imagine she torments herself with thoughts of 'why' a man and why not a woman. I think either way it would hurt terribly. Not sure how I'd react though...

The gay people I know are wonderful. They're never tried to force their lifestyle on me, and neither have I tried to force mine on them.

[kquilts]

Living in the Bible Belt I have heard from many, many people that being gay is a choice. I disagree with every fiber of my being. There is no possible way that I could be attracted to another woman. You just can't make that choice. You are either born with it or not. I also know that living in this part of the country that there are many people who try to live a straight life to "fit in" with society. It must be a terrible way to live. But to come out of the closet and mess up your kid's family life and security just seems pretty selfish to me. It will be interesting to learn what in the body makes a person gay. Is it in the family genes or is it random?
Karen

[tileguytodd]

The gay people I know are wonderful. They're never tried to force their lifestyle on me

Ive seen the other end of that spectrum and seen gays trying to take advantage of inebriated straight guys.

And you wonder why I have an opinion on the subject?
1 rotten apple or in this case several made a lasting impression on me that will never change and while i dont condone violence, there is an exception to every rule.
Lets just hope I never see it again!!

You dont need to agree with me, but you do need to respect my right to an opinion on the matter no matter how much it differs from your own.

[Shaughnn]

Todd,
I'm just ribbin ya. I respect your right to your opinions but when you bring up violence as a means of dealing with your own discomfort, you might need to step back and reevaluate whether you might actually be the aggressor?
And I'm in your corner about anyone trying to take advantage of anyone else while drunk or otherwise incapacitated. I've got a couple of cousins and some other female friends who have all been victims of "Ruffies" in the past.
Rape isn't a "gay" thing., It's a "guy" thing. And it takes watchful eyes like yours and mine to keep the jackasses and other predators on the endangeres species list.
Shaughnn

[Bri]

Ive seen the other end of that spectrum and seen gays trying to take advantage of inebriated straight guys

I have to agree with shaughnn on this one...it's a guy thing based on getting some. It's not different than a straight guy taking advantage of woman that has had one too many.

And on another note....how come nobody thinks it's bad to go out and get inebriated, just for something to do? How many times have you heard someone say that tonight I;m going out to get drunk? Geesh, what do you want, a medal?

[tilesnake]

Butthole is butthole......GROSS! :eek: :sheep: :x:

[Dave Taylor]

Now lets see... did I say that b4..... somewhere

I gotta get a life

[Shaughnn]

Snake,
Ya see, that's the same false perception that I had until a friend clued me in. There are a lot of gay men who feel exactly the same way as you do and won't have anything to do with the "rough road". It's an assumption that we all have made and which is perpetuated by pop culture and such. Sure, gay men are sluttier than striaght men but I thnk that may have more to do with rational (not driven insane by an enraged penis) women telling their straight partners, "To hell with that and take your sick ass out onto the couch, Mister!" :yeah:
Gay couples don't always have that sort of "balance". :)
Shaughnn

[Hamilton]

My brothers wife used the whole "im gay" we need to divorce thing
as an excuse to get out of the relationship. It was a lie and shes not
gay, she remarried another man and moved to kansas. Maybe this guy
is using this as a way out. If she never realized he was gay and its true...
maybe she just thought she had married a really nice/happy guy?

[tilesnake]

Sooo....she wasn't a carpet cleaner. Sorry I couldn't resist.

[LadyGodiva]

I have to agree with shaughnn on this one...it's a guy thing based on getting some. It's not different than a straight guy taking advantage of woman that has had one too many.

And on another note....how come nobody thinks it's bad to go out and get inebriated, just for something to do? How many times have you heard someone say that tonight I;m going out to get drunk? Geesh, what do you want, a medal?



Amen Bri :)

[jd77]

You just can't make that choice. You are either born with it or not. It will be interesting to learn what in the body makes a person gay. Is it in the family genes or is it random?
Karen

That could be the case - sometimes. But you should leave room for the possibility that some environmental thing could cause one to go down that road.

Case in point:

My step son - was adopted as an infant by a family with a mom and dad. The same family also adopted a baby daughter from a different mother.

The son and daughter are gay.

If I were raised by these people I would be too.

I am around quite a few people who happen to be gay. The one thing that really stands out as common among them - drama surrounds them and they are unhappy most of the time.

Very sad :cry:



BTW - IMO the reason the wife didn't know is because she wouldn't face it. She probably knew deep down all along - or suspected. Not her fault just human nature.

[COBALT]

Regardless of what anyone thinks on the subject of homosexuality deciding to tell your wife that you're gay after that many years of marriage and children is not only one of the most selfish things a person can do, but destructive. Why did he get married in the first place? After a few years of knowing he was gay why did he decide it was a good idea to have children? Is it time for this guy to now just drop the bomb on his wife, and decide that now it's all about him and his sexuality, and everyone including his wife and kids just have to accept this? That's insane!

[FireWrks7]

I really don't care if'n they want to be tootie-fruitie, simply leaves more women fer me :yeah:


Anthony

[tilesnake]

Excuse me mind if I push in your stool? :twitch:

[LadyGodiva]

Tile, I hope you're having a good summer. I tend to worry about you...not sure why :crazy:

[NVC]

I'm glad this thread came up. I'm ready to come out of the closet. I've been a lesbian my whole life. I've loved women since I was old enough to LOVE women, and remain perpetually unsatiated.

I don't know how I'll break it to my wife, her being a woman and all, she'll realize that I only married her because she's a woman, and in possession of womanly traits (parts). I think they put a secret ingredient in them to make them addictive. <if only I could bottle it and sell it>

Whew! That's a load off. I'm glad I shared this with everyone, before my debut on the Jerry Springer show.

thanks gang, :)

Mark

[Shaughnn]

Mark,
Come over here and let's just give you a big hug. Thanks for sharing. :D
Shaughnn

[tilesnake]

[QUOTE=LadyGodiva]Tile, I hope you're having a good summer. I tend to worry about you...not sure why :crazy:[/QUOTE

I'm fine it's the rest of the world that's twisted.....

Hope every thing is going well Lady G, When some one close dies it changes your out look on every thing, doesn't it.

Tile.

[NVC]

Awww, thanks for da hug Pie-rate. :)

Now, how much for de women? I'm berry bealthy man, how much for de women?

Give me price, for de women. Just de women in your, how do you say . . . North San Francisco Bay?

Are there a lot of women in this Bay? How much? How much for de bay including de women?

:D
Mark

[Shaughnn]

M-arghh-k,
You are officially required to take a chaperone with you the next time you go to the Gilroy Garlic Festival. :D Allie doesn't count as she's more of a "partner in crime" than a positive influence. :yeah:
Shaughnn

[NVC]

We missed the Festival this year, unfortunately. :cry: Sounds like there's more I need to know about the festival and de women.

We tried to do both the NHRA top fuel drag races at Infineon and Gilroy in the same weekend. This is before I found out it was a 2.5 hr. drive ea. way. Call me lazy, but I figured I'd rather do a whole weekend of garlic stinkin' fun than just 5hrs of driving and a garlic aftertaste . . . so it's on the calendar for next year. The top fueler's were impressive and . . . LOUD. Allie shot 3 feet in the air everytime they romped on the throttle. I'm not a fan, but it's something everyone has to see at least once.

I hear they have garlic flavored beer?

Nah, Allie keeps me in line, she's not quite the crime type and nor am I. Hell, I'd be wielding a club and wearin' a leopard skin cloth hunting for 'de women' if I wasn't 'retired' and she (and the ring on my finner) constantly remind me that I'm retired. :D I like being 'retired'. Not to say my jaw doesn't clench and my neck doesn't get knotted when a hottie in a bikinni walks by, but that's just my controlled lesbian urges resurfacing. :)

Anyway . . . I got to get some Myst IV time in here, I bid thee au dois (sp?)

Mark

[LadyGodiva]

[QUOTE=LadyGodiva]Tile, I hope you're having a good summer. I tend to worry about you...not sure why :crazy:[/QUOTE

I'm fine it's the rest of the world that's twisted.....

Hope every thing is going well Lady G, When some one close dies it changes your out look on every thing, doesn't it.

Tile.



Tile, that it does. This is why I worry about you :)