Being a Man

[flatfloor]

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too icky.

Same work...more pay.

Wrinkles and grey hair add character.

Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the damn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without
thinking, " He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.

[Sponsored Links]

[Paul D.]

Cuttin' and pastin' this one right now....:D

[flatfloor]

How do you think I got it? :D

[Cami A]

HEY, NOW!!!!!!!













Dang, it's almost all true. :D

[flatfloor]

Some day I'll slip one of these by you but then that's not being very realistic is it. :D

[Cami A]

Your only hope is to sneak it into a post about tiling outdoors....and I even read those when insomnia sets in! :D


...Hi, my name is Cami and I'm one of John's junkies....

[flatfloor]

How about FLATULENT MOLES AND THE EFFECT ON TULIP BULBS think that'll do it? :D

[John Bridge]

Hey Jim, you really pay $8.95 for a 3-pack of underwear? Ever heard of Fruit of the Loom?

:D

[Cami A]

Yes, Jim, I would read that, too- probably first... Maybe if you title the discussion Self-hydrating Technical Pookie applied with a Small V-notch Trowel to a Pre-sloped shower Pan supported Entirely by Sand and Covered in 12in Tiles, but only if all The Triangles formed by the Slope are Equilateral and Obtuse and carefully Laid out with a Rusty Tape Measure and Marked with the Last Existing Sharpie in the Building then Grouted to make it Look Better, but Caulked Where ever two Planes Converge with a Discussion of Penetrating vs Non-penetrating Sealers and Instructions on Daily Upkeep of Your new Custom Shower.


Nah...I'd still read it.

[flatfloor]

I think sharpie is spelled with a Y.

[Cami A]

http://www.khue.com/dept/misc/sharpie.jpg


Stick it too 'em, Cami! :D

[Edited by Rob Zschoche on 05-02-2002 at 08:25 PM]

[flatfloor]

I give :D

[Cami A]

Sharpie and Pookie...amazing all the spelling words we learn here, eh? :D



Anyone else subscribe to this, (http://www.wordsmith.org/awad/) or am I the only word geek? http://www.clicksmilies.com/sammlung/cool/cool016.gif

[Paul D.]

Oh no. I do to. :rolleyes:

Love those Yiddish words. Should John be "Tile Mensch"? :D

You'd like this too book then, Cami. Friend got if for me years ago...

http://shop.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=65CC76MJOX&mscssid=55F4E2F3GVVC9HP1UQ3VKAKJADLCDWEE&isbn=087923556X

[Cami A]

There's always a bit of kvetching here. Oy!

"Superior" people? Well, ummm, that might be a stretch. I did like the reviewer's opinion, "It makes a wonderfully strange gift".

While we're at it, here's another link for language lovers. (http://216.239.33.100/search?q=cache:jbS8dITxt2oC:www.vocabula.com/vocabulareview.htm+vocabulary+review&hl=en&ie=utf-8)


I am waiting for the opportunity to use amphigory. Someday...

[Bud Cline]

........ever notice that I don't participate in all threads of this nature?

[Cami A]

Bud, you're not a man??????? ;)

[Cami A]

Come to think of it, I have noticed that any of the (few and far between) English discussions 'round here have a limited amount of participants....

Bud, didn't you write Webster's defintion of Pookie? I think you're just being modest....

[flatfloor]

http://www.nwf.org/wildalive/pchicken/bigpicture.html

http://www.nwf.org/wildalive/pchicken/images/lewan2.jpg

[Bud Cline]

...am too a man and I got two things to prove it, and at this moment one is in my left hand and the other is in my right hand.


















that should be the end of this thread

[Bri]

How do you use the opener with your hands full? ;)

[Cami A]

You know, if you weren't on the 'puter when you said that, I'd bet on a beer and the remote.


Women never get the remote....

[John Bridge]

You sure we decided on "pookie," and not "pooky"?

[Ron]

Heard this the other day:

To women "efficiency" means a cute little rental unit while on vacation.

To men it means drinking a beer at the urinal.

[Rob Z]

I know this one has come up before on this site...I was glad to find that some of my tile setting buddies around this place admit to a desire to have a urinal in their dream house, and that their spouses are horrified at the thought of having a urinal in that dream house.

Now, thanks to Ron's superb suggestion, I am going upstairs to tell Christina that there will be a beer shelf by the urinal in the dream house.

Ahh, the glory of the Internet. :D

[John Bridge]

Rob,

You don't need to build a shelf -- just don't buy a brand new urinal. Many of the older models are flat (horizontal) on top and can accommodate a number of beer cans. Just make sure you set the urinal high enough that it's not in the line of fire!

Ask me how I know all of this.

:)

[Cami A]

Bud's version of Webster's gave both usages:

"Pookie", "Pooky",

Is absolutely a technical term used by all flooring and tile installers. The word has various meanings and describes a muriad of products.

Beyond this explanation, the term is considered confidential and is to be used and discussed only by seasoned professionals of these particular building trades that have taken "THE OATH".

I could tell you more but then your name would have to be added to "THE HIT LIST" and you know what that means. The guys that carry-out the hits are very proficient and you would probably never see your tile job completed.

[Rob Z]

Did everyone notice how conspicuously silent Ms. Cami was on the beer/urinal topic? :D

[Cami A]

I'm staying quiet on matters of plumbing, copper or otherwise. :D


Dang Rob, your title's so long that it takes up half a page...

[Terry O'Neill]

Hey Rob,
How about a Bonsal Pro-Form Niche for that beer in lieu of
of the shelf. I think I'd have to opt for the 304 Wide Combo. Perhaps another market for D.W.;)
Happy belated congrats on your latest addition to the Z.
manor. I owe you a beer or ten on our southern excursion!

[Rob Z]

Thanks, Terry

Did you get moved into the new house?

Gobis won't know what to do with us when we hit Climzun. :D

[John Bridge]

By God, you keep talking about the getogether in Clemson, I may have to crash the party! :D

Don't fly Delta. It's the airline from hell. Hub is Atlanta.

[flatfloor]

Delta..fly ? How about...http://www.storyfoundry.com/greyhound/images/ranger042702sm.JPG

[Terry O'Neill]

Rob,
We're closing on the 31st of this month. Can't wait for this to be over:eek:
I'm looking forward to the trip and meeting Mr.Gobis.
Should be a great time.

Flatfloor,
When do I get the official St. Brendan the Boisterous Irish greeting;)

[Edited by Terry O'Neill on 05-06-2002 at 01:24 AM]

[flatfloor]

Slàinte mhòr agad! Saoilidh mi gu bheil gaol aig mo chù air do chù! St Brendan e Boisterous


Bud St Brendan wants to know..Cò an caora sin còmhla riut a chunnaic Sharon mi an-raoir?" :D


[Edited by flatfloor on 05-06-2002 at 05:57 PM]

[Terry O'Neill]

flatfloor,
:confused: uh, thanks, I think.....backatcha.

[flatfloor]

Sorry about that, St Brendan assumed with your last name you would understand. He hopes your in good health and thinks his dog is in love with yours. I have no idea why he said that.

Bud St Brendan wants to know who that sheep he saw you with last night was, did't look anything like Sharon.

:D

[John Bridge]

That Brendan do get around, don't he? :)

[dian57]

So good to see everyone has remained mentally unbalanced while I was away, thought for sure someone would have been cured by now.

[Bud Cline]

:)

[flatfloor]

There is no cure known to modern medicine. ;)

[Cami A]

Even if there was a cure, no one here would take it...What fun would it be talking to a bunch of perfectly normal people? Come to think of it, would perfectly normal people even "get together" on the internet on such a regular basis? Hmmmmm....I don't think I know any "perfectly normal" people...

[John Bridge]

Normalcy. See it. Believe it! :D

[Cami A]

Soooooo...if there are enough weird people, they become the new "normal"? http://www.clicksmilies.com/sammlung/sprachlos/sprachlos022.gif

[Bud Cline]

It's happening before your very eyes!!!

[John Bridge]

All we need are a couple hundred more wierdos signing on here and before you know it we'll be perfectly legitimate. And judging from the number of wierdos who've already signed on, shouldn't be any problem at all.

There is strength in numbers. :D

[flatfloor]

Women! :D